What the Heck Happened to Diesel?

Predator Press

[LOBO]

Whenever the Mighty Mighty Diesel goes on hiatus, I like to seize upon his absence as an opportunity to lecture about him extensively.

And who better to speculate wildly about his mysterious disappearance than myself?

Hm?

The truth is I don’t know precisely; Diesel is a very complex and multi-facetted individual. And after sleeping in his car at the airport for the last ten days, I’m finally forced to conclude he could be literally anywhere.

Sure maybe he’s training to come out of retirement and defend his Ultimate Fighting Championship title -or perhaps continuing on in his noble quest to save starving babies in some horrifyingly unpronounceable country.

-But what if he’s been kidnapped, and some diabolical mastermind is forcing him to write more books?

Whoever you are, please don’t hurt Diesel: he is a great and well-respected blogger and author, and I have appointed myself chief negotiator for a ransom ensuring his safe return.

And speaking of ransom, this is frankly the most inept kidnapping I've ever seen. What are you, stupid? Where are your demands? I'm impressed you’ve gotten this far; you’re obviously completely worthless even as a criminal, and probably don't have the huevos to chop off one of his fingers and mail it to anyone thusly proving you've got him alive.

I'll bet you wear a creepy black leather mask because you are hideously deformed too ... and that mask is stinky with the putrid stinky smell of your stinking cowardly stinkiness.

Whew –I could just imagine the smell in that thing.

Blech.