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Showing posts with label banners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label banners. Show all posts
Saturday
Tuesday
Thursday
Little Boots
Predator Press
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-As for Mel Gibson, even as an enormous fan of his work, there is no defense I can offer.
Cobbled together there is roughly thirty minutes of audio -thirty minutes of Mel spitting venom. I haven’t heard the whole thing, but holy crap I'm glad I'm white: I’ve heard enough to know it’s ugly. The fruit basket he must've got from Tiger Wood's 'an Jesse James hadda be incredible.
But consider that thirty minutes of recorded audio didn’t happen by accident. Oksana not only recorded it all, but can be heard “pushing Mel’s buttons” so to speak for maximum effect.
This was pretty calculated, don’t you think?
It‘s like two diabolic forces collided.
But unlike zombies, these two didn’t cancel each other out; instead, I am inundated by a media jazzed at the naked schadenfreude. And this has completely ruined the whole Lethal Weapon series for at least a few months.
Unless, of course, Danny Glover wants to shoot up the courthouse.
Or if a guy that looks like Danny Glover shoots up that courthouse.
-I'm just sayin.
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-As for Mel Gibson, even as an enormous fan of his work, there is no defense I can offer.
But consider that thirty minutes of recorded audio didn’t happen by accident. Oksana not only recorded it all, but can be heard “pushing Mel’s buttons” so to speak for maximum effect.
This was pretty calculated, don’t you think?
It‘s like two diabolic forces collided.
But unlike zombies, these two didn’t cancel each other out; instead, I am inundated by a media jazzed at the naked schadenfreude. And this has completely ruined the whole Lethal Weapon series for at least a few months.
Unless, of course, Danny Glover wants to shoot up the courthouse.
Or if a guy that looks like Danny Glover shoots up that courthouse.
Sunday
Friday
Thank You
Predator Press
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The Fourth of July and New Years are ranked very high on my ‘Favorite Holiday’ list: you gotta love the idea of giving people a bunch of booze and high explosives and saying, “Okay. Now don’t do anything stupid.”
This won't be my annual ‘wrap up’ ... these are just a couple of things I wanted to squeeze in before the end of the year.
On the 22nd, POPSENSE listed Predator Press as one of their definitive “Best Blogs of 2008.” I promised myself I would look up what ‘definitive’ means before I posted this news to ensure they weren’t actually being sarcastic -but what am I gonna do now? It’s too late. Besides, I made that promise to myself in the full knowledge that I had an impulse control problem.
I have forgiven myself entirely.And I feel better now!
Don’t you?
Also a buddy from the new and improved soon-to-be-unleashed Cult of Qelqoth asked me to make a banner for his site so’s he could feature me for a day or two. He had to change his URL recently due to a court settlement: it’s my understanding that he should sail through probation just fine as long as he verifies a chick's age against her driver’s license from here on out.
Now I’ve made a few buttons and banners in the past -most are in the sidebar and the rest are featured here- so I figured I would offer some advice to banner creation “newbies.”
There's only one thing you need to know here and it should be obvious: Do not buy your computer at Menards. When I heard I could get a PC with a walnut finish, track lighting and a barbeque pit for $16.99 I was all over it -but alas these things are woefully inadequate on RAM, and the thing switches off whenever anyone flushes the toilet. Seriously. Get a box of Kleenex and a bottle of Visine because it’s going to be Junior High School all over again.Another problem you might face is weird dimensions. It was bad enough that it needed to be 350 pixels by 130 pixels … but this particular Cult of Qelqoth [TCOQ] author gives all his instructions in units he describes as “cubits.”
The pixel-to-cubit ratio comes out something like this:
Fortunately the Menards computer is spectacular at the pixel-to-cubit ratio, but this triggers lots of pop-up ads hawking bulk lumber sales, animal cages and water sealing products.
Ultimately -in answering the call from TCOQ- I magicked me up this:
Were you so inclined to use it please feel free … I do kinda like it, but I can’t even fit it in my sidebar: it’s going to spiral down forever into the murky unread archives.
I really should read those things one day.
-It could only help with the continuity.
Thursday
Black in Back
Predator Press
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According to Wikipedia, there are 6.65 billion people on earth.
And Chelle B. -the Offended Blogger- wants to eliminate around 97% of them.
Now I'm no calculatron, but that doesn't leave very many: the number that would survive -give or take a few hundred thousand- is "5".
(Well, the actual answer comes up as "watery soup", which unintentionally proves Don's Malthusian theories on Global Eating -but don't tell him; if he ever found out he was right about anything, he'd be twice as unbearable.)
So the bad news is not many of you will live.
But the good news is I've made the rest of us banners!
![]()
***
For my last post, I tried disguising Predator Press as .45 Caliber Headspace in order to hide from the scurrilous cast of bloggers involved in The Comma Caper. But what started as a joke developed into what just might be a permanent "facelift".
So now I figure, Why stop there?.
I wanna redo everything, and the banner is the first thing to go.
This was my first banner effort:
![]()
Meh.
If you're ever bored enough, you can read the fantastic epic saga of how I came up with my original banner here.
Please don't ever be that bored.
Suicide is always an option.
I mean it's straightforward enough, but it lacked drama. "Zazz" if you will. It's just not something that leaps out at you, you know?
So then I came up with this:
![]()
-but big words like "obtrusive" and "monstrosity" kept surfacing.
So then I made this:
![]()
But rather than getting new readers, I just got a bunch of nefarious job offers.
Ultimately, I decided on this:
Wait.
What’s with that look?
-Why does everyone wince like that?
While hunting wayward grammas, I frequently
disguise myself as The Cult of Qelqoth.
[LOBO]
According to Wikipedia, there are 6.65 billion people on earth.
And Chelle B. -the Offended Blogger- wants to eliminate around 97% of them.
Now I'm no calculatron, but that doesn't leave very many: the number that would survive -give or take a few hundred thousand- is "5".
(Well, the actual answer comes up as "watery soup", which unintentionally proves Don's Malthusian theories on Global Eating -but don't tell him; if he ever found out he was right about anything, he'd be twice as unbearable.)So the bad news is not many of you will live.
But the good news is I've made the rest of us banners!
For my last post, I tried disguising Predator Press as .45 Caliber Headspace in order to hide from the scurrilous cast of bloggers involved in The Comma Caper. But what started as a joke developed into what just might be a permanent "facelift".
So now I figure, Why stop there?.
I wanna redo everything, and the banner is the first thing to go.
This was my first banner effort:
Meh.
If you're ever bored enough, you can read the fantastic epic saga of how I came up with my original banner here.
Please don't ever be that bored.
Suicide is always an option.
I mean it's straightforward enough, but it lacked drama. "Zazz" if you will. It's just not something that leaps out at you, you know?
So then I came up with this:
-but big words like "obtrusive" and "monstrosity" kept surfacing.
So then I made this:
But rather than getting new readers, I just got a bunch of nefarious job offers.
Ultimately, I decided on this:
Wait.
What’s with that look?
-Why does everyone wince like that?
disguise myself as The Cult of Qelqoth.
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