Showing posts with label rupert murdoch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rupert murdoch. Show all posts

Monday

$12b Murdoch Purchase Jeopardized by Scandal

Predator Press

[LOBO]

Rupert Murdoch’s efforts to purchase British Sky Broadcasting [BSB] for $11.9 billion US dollars is facing serious opposition, particularly after the 158 year old tabloid News of the World was shut down amid recent -clearly baseless- hacking allegations.

Longtime Predator Press readers may remember Predator Press has a history of offering to sell itself to this devilishly good-looking keen-eyed mogul, and often for considerably less than the current BSB asking price. Murdoch, however, has never returned Predator Press calls, and many economists describe revenues the sprightly and lovable magnate missed out on as "incalculable."

"We've certainly had a hard time getting [Murdoch] to the negotiating table," says a high-ranking Predator Press source on condition of anonymity. "But this time we promised to take him bowling."

Sunday

When Dreams Go All Frappe

Predator Press

[LOBO]

Well, Rupert Murdoch’s check never materialized.

--Honestly, I don’t know why people do business with guys like that.

Worse, I got like ten calls from Babs asking me why I haven’t bailed her out of prison yet.

It’s not like I forgot, it’s just that that sixty bucks was supposed to come out of Rupert’s 3 billion.

After a couple of days, I realized Rupert was stiffing me, and then I guess I just got a little embarrassed.

God I wish she would stop calling.

Thursday

Dear Rupert Murdoch

Predator Press

Dear Rupert Murdoch,

It has been recently brought to our attention that you have placed a 6 billion dollar bid on The Wall Street Journal.

The Wall Street Journal is an infinitely boring publication that no one reads. Jeez, it barely even has any pictures!

We’ll sell you Predator Press for half.