About Predator Press
Play this for much-needed dramatic
ambiance until John Williams sues me.
Then stop doing that.
Mission Statement and Charter:
You will NEVER find intelligent life in outer space.
In fact, you'll be hard-pressed to find any here.
And eventually you'll have to ask yourself from a Darwinian standpoint, "Is intelligence really beneficial to a species in the long run?"
Take the shark for instance. The shark doesn't give a crap about quantum physics, thermal dynamics, Feng Shui, punctuation, or, speling.
It eats.
It swims.
It hasn't evolved a single iota in like at least fifteen or twenty years.
And if you ate and swam without sleeping or evolving for like twenty years, you would be pretty cranky too.
Yet the shark lacks the capacity to wipe out all the other sharks now, doesn't it?
Unless it was some crazy diamond-plated nuclear robot ubershark with lazerbeam eyes and jackhammer fins, even the most ambitious "Plan of Action" for the average, plain 'ol garden-variety "revenge-upon-Humanity" seeking shark would be to become an employee for the DMV.
... Or maybe a telemarketer if he were serious enough.
Sharks don't need your lofty concept of "Evolution", thank you.
Maybe a dental plan.
A few breath mints.
But that's it.
Join us, the Predator Press, as we celebrate "The Great Debacle of Humanity" and this brief, insignificant, narcissistic biological spectacle in all its glory.
Endorsements and Testimonials:
"Creative, funny, and dare I say paranoid genius."
"He is the single most important and talented must-read author of this century."
-LOBO's mom
(about Mark A. Rayner)
"Reading my favorite books is a bitter disappointment after tasting the genius literary works by LOBO. I threw my entire library in the garbage."
"I've started building my underground bunker and filling it with 2-ply toilet paper, Spam and beer."
"My name is Allan Vittorio, I will like to buy some 6-Foot Toboggan. But i would like to know the price including taxes so i can quote you with the quantity i want to order.Also what type of credit card do you accept as payment? Thanks."
-Allan Vittorio
Renal Failure
Renal Failure is Legally Represented by:
Facmee & Diaz
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carpenoctum at
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