Predator Press
[LOBO]
It can't be true.
It just can't.
... It's been almost two weeks since I've tried to infuriate It's a Funny Thing's brilliant author Don Lewis!
Long ago, I concluded that the internet is utterly useless aside from infuriating Don Lewis.
I've sought high and low for some decent SEOs so my search engines are optimized.
And how I yearn for the remotest hope of penis enlargement.
Please don't get me started on the futility of finding porn.
Will no one reveal to me the secrets of Internet Marketing or Making Money Online?
Doesn't anyone accept VISA Platinum anymore?
[*sigh*]
All there is is Don.
Don Lewis.
Even as I type this, the sole recipient of the Predator Press Temporary Lifetime Achievement Award is probably all tucked in, sleeping soundly, and thinking of genuinely funny and unique crap ... crap that will doubtlessly distract countless blog readers from the wholesome Wisdom, Purity, Hope and Truth which Predator Press strives only to promote.Well, I won't stand for it.
Not for a second.
Not even for a nanosecond.
In a fit of jealousy, I'm stripping Don of his monopoly on the coveted and highly sought-after honor that I will one day actually create: the Predator Press Lifetime Achievement Award.
Today, the subtle and unobtrusive Predator Press Temporary Lifetime Achievement Award -currently recognized as the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval- is being bestowed upon the following blogs as well:
.45 Caliber Headspace
Angry Seafood
Average Dudes
Bee's Musings
Blogs We Luv
DEAD ROOSTER
ettarose-edgeofsanity
From the Roads
LadyTerri
Lord Likely
My Interesting Files
neOnbubble
OMYWORD!
Speedcat Hollydale
The Cult of Qelqoth
The Offended Blogger
The Ominous Comma
The Skwib
When Things Get Dark
-:¦:-•:*'""* -:¦:- NICE -:¦:- WORK -:¦:- *'""*:•.-:¦:-
Now "Don Lewis" -if in fact that is your real name- every time you surf the funniest sites on the internet, you will see your own award prominently displayed smack on every one of them!
17 comments:
Thank you!
I had my lawyers look at the fine print and they have a problem with this part:
Not valid unless placed on title page of blog, over, near, or in place of your respective banner. Or tattooed."
Hmmmm... tricky son of gun aren't ya'!
I wish I had read that. I had it tattooed on my ass! Thanks baby!
Yay! So I am officially Good for something then?
I think I may cry. :)
*spank*
whoo hoo..I am going to post this next up..it's not often I get an award for good housekeeping...:))))
but I am not going for the tattoo..thing..but I do wish I was spanked by cathouse Teri..I didn't see that in the fine print...:)))
... what I live longer??? Can a fellow earn 2 lifetime achievments?? 3 ???
With all of your "Ecard" points, you WILL BE RICH! Sell them to Donny.
Thx! I will immediately apply it to all my Lennox equipment.
Came here from Speedy's page. I think I might stay a while!
Awesome! As someone who has gone through life alienating my peers and always picked last in gym, I actually received a jolt of satisfaction out of this. Oh, sweet validation.
Thank you for the award but...I deleted my "Awards" page. I just wanted to simplify things.
However, I will link back to this post in my next post and thank you for the thought.
Oh. And you spelt my username wrong again. ;)
Qelqoth: At this point, I've butchered the spelling of your blog in so many different places and ways, I think you should just surrender and change the name to correspond.
... Or how about "The Cult of Joe"?
Hm?
:)
This may be the greatest temporary award I've ever received!
Thank you so much!
"how about "The Cult of Joe"
No way, lol. I'd never be able to point out your typos that way! ;)
Frankly, I should have gotten this award months ago. I'm kidding of course. Actually no I'm not.
I just want to wrap up this acceptance speech by saying I hope my upkeep of my apartment lives up to the award.
I am honored. Deeply and intravenously, honor is infusing itself into my tissues.
Thanks for the award too.
Thanks so much. I always want to receive an award out of spite!
m.
Having spent the entire morning, sand blasting the dried Chicken Vindaloo and mango grease off of the walls, floor and cabinets of my airline-sized Parisian kitchen, wishing at least I could be naked but then knowing how nasty sand can feel in the cracks, and I'm still not finished but at least the shelves are dust-free and the wine glasses sparkle (is this what some might call a run-on sentence?), I finally settled down to my cat-fur encrusted bed (better known as my international corporate office) to rest my weary mind by reading my feedreader about death and death and then some more death, and so I switched to my email inbox, hoping there would be fewer death-related emails and lo n' behold, there was an email saying that predatorpress had purchased an EntreCard ad from me.
This was better than death. Let me tell you. Everyone should try it.
Meanwhile, as the bird tossed seed across the room trying to get my attention, and the cat barfed up a hairball, I clicked on over to predatorlandia, and lo n' behold, to my surprise and amusement, there I was, listed as a recipient of a most prestigious award.
Temporary or not, for me to get any kind of good housekeeping award (whether the real McDeal or the fake about-to-be-sued kind) as I swim in unrelenting dirt, is the bestest thang I can imagine.
I bow to you and will dance at your next wedding, or funeral, whichever comes first, or last.
Post a Comment