Thirty Minutes in 'The Hole'
Predator Press
[Mr Insanity]
So once again I find myself staring at LOBO through one-way glass. But this time it's in a state penitentiary.
"Wow," I says. "I rather like the muzzle and restraints. Did he try to hurt someone?"
"No," says the Warden. "He just kept complaining it was cold in there."
Two somewhat bookish, attractive women enter the room.
"Why are they here?" I ask.
"That's his psychiatrist and his lawyer. They're the only way we could get him to bathe."
"What?" I says. "How else will he get beaten and raped by the other prisoners?"
"Release him into the general population? No, no, no," says the Warden. "A diabolical genius like LOBO can't be allowed to interact with the other prisoners. He's far too dangerous. There would be pandemonium."
"Diabolical genius?!" I repeat, completely floored. "LOBO?"
"I'll sure sleep a lot better when he's released," says the Warden. "Then the prison will be safe again."
"This guy calls me to his house when he sees a spider in the bathtub. Have you even talked to him?"
"Oh my no. Nobody is allowed to talk to him except his psychiatrist and his therapist. Strictly off-limits. It's the 'diabolical genius' thing."
I watch as the blonde prepares a bucket of soapy water and a sponge while the brunette straddles him to unlock the steel hooks on the mask.
"Look," I says. "At least listen in. Can we do that?"
"Listen in?" says the Warden. "Why would we want to do that? Just the very idea just gives me goose pimples."
Looking under the window, I see an audio speaker. The Warden stares frozen in mute horror as I flip the switch to the 'on' position, just as the blonde is removing LOBO's muzzle.
"Hello Clarice," says LOBO.
The Warden has stopped breathing entirely.
"Relax," I whisper. "That's Doctor Clarice DePalma. Psychiatrist."
"Hello LOBO," says Doctor DePalma.
"Hello Sydney," says LOBO.
I hear a tight whimper from the Warden.
"That's Sydney Warwick et al, from Daly, Warwick, and Chun," I explain in a frustrated, hushed tones. "She got off all twelve jurors off in the O.J. trial. Now stop watching so many fucking movies."
"Hello LOBO," says Sydney.
"Have you checked the children?" LOBO asks.
The Warden fainted.
"Yes, sweetie," replies Clarice. "That case of headlice didn't come from anyone at her school. We were all relieved."
"LOBO," says Sydney. "Have you been being good and telling everyone what I told you to tell them?"
"Yes, Sydney," says LOBO glumly. "But I gotta tell you. I'm not particularly fond of fava beans or chianti."
[Mr Insanity]
So once again I find myself staring at LOBO through one-way glass. But this time it's in a state penitentiary.
"Wow," I says. "I rather like the muzzle and restraints. Did he try to hurt someone?"
"No," says the Warden. "He just kept complaining it was cold in there."
Two somewhat bookish, attractive women enter the room.
"Why are they here?" I ask.
"That's his psychiatrist and his lawyer. They're the only way we could get him to bathe."
"What?" I says. "How else will he get beaten and raped by the other prisoners?"
"Release him into the general population? No, no, no," says the Warden. "A diabolical genius like LOBO can't be allowed to interact with the other prisoners. He's far too dangerous. There would be pandemonium."
"Diabolical genius?!" I repeat, completely floored. "LOBO?"
"I'll sure sleep a lot better when he's released," says the Warden. "Then the prison will be safe again."
"This guy calls me to his house when he sees a spider in the bathtub. Have you even talked to him?"
"Oh my no. Nobody is allowed to talk to him except his psychiatrist and his therapist. Strictly off-limits. It's the 'diabolical genius' thing."
I watch as the blonde prepares a bucket of soapy water and a sponge while the brunette straddles him to unlock the steel hooks on the mask.
"Look," I says. "At least listen in. Can we do that?"
"Listen in?" says the Warden. "Why would we want to do that? Just the very idea just gives me goose pimples."
Looking under the window, I see an audio speaker. The Warden stares frozen in mute horror as I flip the switch to the 'on' position, just as the blonde is removing LOBO's muzzle.
"Hello Clarice," says LOBO.
The Warden has stopped breathing entirely.
"Relax," I whisper. "That's Doctor Clarice DePalma. Psychiatrist."
"Hello LOBO," says Doctor DePalma.
"Hello Sydney," says LOBO.
I hear a tight whimper from the Warden.
"That's Sydney Warwick et al, from Daly, Warwick, and Chun," I explain in a frustrated, hushed tones. "She got off all twelve jurors off in the O.J. trial. Now stop watching so many fucking movies."
"Hello LOBO," says Sydney.
"Have you checked the children?" LOBO asks.
The Warden fainted.
"Yes, sweetie," replies Clarice. "That case of headlice didn't come from anyone at her school. We were all relieved."
"LOBO," says Sydney. "Have you been being good and telling everyone what I told you to tell them?"
"Yes, Sydney," says LOBO glumly. "But I gotta tell you. I'm not particularly fond of fava beans or chianti."
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