Lohan Sues eBay Over Faulty Ankle Bracelet
Predator Press
"Oh man, I just knew something was up Your Honor," explains Lohan.
Once sworn in, Lindsay Lohan dropped bombs: "This necklace is supposed to detect for cocaine, and it only worked for about two weeks," she sobbed. "And that guy had a 101.02% PowerSeller rating! We should all --in pursuit of justice-- collectively leave him some really mediocre 'Feedback'."
When asked for additional comment, Lohan would only reply by grinding her teeth, having animated conversations about how shiny her car was, and proclaiming any juror needing sleep a 'Communist Pussy'.
Keith Richards, legendary guitarist for the Rolling Stones and CEO of mammajammadrugtectingkewlaccessories105@yahoo.com, insists that MammaJamma technology has been 'totally bastardized by The Man'."
"These devices beam data about the wearer's drug use directly to my BlackBerry," claims Richards. "I just wanted to keep track of where the party was. This is the biggest exaggeration of a product line's intent since the sperm whale got a blowhole."
"Oh man, I just knew something was up Your Honor," explains Lohan.
Once sworn in, Lindsay Lohan dropped bombs: "This necklace is supposed to detect for cocaine, and it only worked for about two weeks," she sobbed. "And that guy had a 101.02% PowerSeller rating! We should all --in pursuit of justice-- collectively leave him some really mediocre 'Feedback'."
When asked for additional comment, Lohan would only reply by grinding her teeth, having animated conversations about how shiny her car was, and proclaiming any juror needing sleep a 'Communist Pussy'.
Keith Richards, legendary guitarist for the Rolling Stones and CEO of mammajammadrugtectingkewlaccessories105@yahoo.com, insists that MammaJamma technology has been 'totally bastardized by The Man'."
"These devices beam data about the wearer's drug use directly to my BlackBerry," claims Richards. "I just wanted to keep track of where the party was. This is the biggest exaggeration of a product line's intent since the sperm whale got a blowhole."
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