Today’s News In My Briefs
Predator Press
[LOBO]
11 LA cops led on a high speed chase. While apprehended unharmed, the perp was subsequently taken to an LA hospital Emergency Room where she is expected to be dead in about 45 minutes.
The Tour de France opened today. My best guess is that French officials, rattled by Independence Day fireworks, gave a bunch of people distracting bicycles to avoid a miscued surrender.
The White House acknowledged 'Global Warming', as a result of melting ice caps and freon deficit.
Al Gore’s shockingly tubbier offspring sent to rehab. Annoyed Gore Senior --relocated carefully by scientists as not to send Earth into wobbly Vernal orbit-- grounds son 1 week of deserts.
--Wall Street concerned as Krispy Kreme faces Chapter 11.
Dick Cheney's 'Dead Earth' concert proposal met lukewarm support. The ACLU forms committee to investigate "prejudice against non-living", suggests more quail hunting.
After months of bitter court battles regarding an alleged sexual assualt, Kobe Bryant apologizes to Lakers General Manager for some reason.
College student accidentally gets Paris Hilton's old cell phone number: boils self when Hilton's "Fave Five" found to be Motel 6 locations.
President George Bush Junior is grounded from television after not cleaning up 1" = 1" scale model political quagmire toys before going to bed.
Goldman Sachs gets death threats: security guard for investment banking and securities firm woken up and forced to 'patrol menacingly'.
[LOBO]
11 LA cops led on a high speed chase. While apprehended unharmed, the perp was subsequently taken to an LA hospital Emergency Room where she is expected to be dead in about 45 minutes.
The Tour de France opened today. My best guess is that French officials, rattled by Independence Day fireworks, gave a bunch of people distracting bicycles to avoid a miscued surrender.
The White House acknowledged 'Global Warming', as a result of melting ice caps and freon deficit.
Al Gore’s shockingly tubbier offspring sent to rehab. Annoyed Gore Senior --relocated carefully by scientists as not to send Earth into wobbly Vernal orbit-- grounds son 1 week of deserts.
--Wall Street concerned as Krispy Kreme faces Chapter 11.
Dick Cheney's 'Dead Earth' concert proposal met lukewarm support. The ACLU forms committee to investigate "prejudice against non-living", suggests more quail hunting.
After months of bitter court battles regarding an alleged sexual assualt, Kobe Bryant apologizes to Lakers General Manager for some reason.
College student accidentally gets Paris Hilton's old cell phone number: boils self when Hilton's "Fave Five" found to be Motel 6 locations.
President George Bush Junior is grounded from television after not cleaning up 1" = 1" scale model political quagmire toys before going to bed.
Goldman Sachs gets death threats: security guard for investment banking and securities firm woken up and forced to 'patrol menacingly'.
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