Conflict Revolution

Predator Press

[LOBO]

“The whole Republican Party?” I ask the guy.

”Yes,” says the disembodied voice on the speakerphone. ”Every last one of us signed it.”

“An apology?”

”For offending your sensibilities.”

“What about just plain bein’ assholes?”

”That too.”

“I don’t know,” I says. “I mean you got me pretty upset, and I don’t think accepting surrender from your entire political party is enough. I think I deserve some cash compensation as well.”

”Eh,” says the guy. ”Wouldn’t that constitute a bribe?”

“A bribe,” I explain, “would presuppose forgiving you guys as a condition of receiving money. I’ve already decided to forgive you guys as long as you use your powers for good instead of evil from here on out."

"So this is ...?"

"Cash as an incentive to make that fact public. This is more like blackmail.”

”I ... see.”

“And I want a statue,” I continue. “Nine feet tall. One of me wrestling a cheetah or something.”

”A cheetah.”

"Yeah. And make me in a loincloth so my Craig Blair isn't floppin' all over the place."

"Uh-"

“In Tiananmen Square.”