Sports with Balls
Predator Press
[LOBO]
It was about 8:30 pm when the phone rang.
“LOBO?”
“What?”
“LOBO, it’s Phil Jackson.”
“Phil!” I says. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been better. We’re down by 30 points.” Phil sighs audibly. “We need you to suit up.”
“Phil, I haven’t seen my Bulls uniform since the 3-Peat.”
“I’m with the Lakers now.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. We’re in Game 2 of the Finals against the Celtics.”
“The Celtics? Wow. So Larry Bird is really handing it to you, huh?”
“Larry Bird is retired.”
“Well then Magic Johnson should totally cream them!”
“We need you LOBO.”
“But Phil, I’ve only got 29 free days left on AOL. Then those jerks are going to start chargin me.” I rub my temples thoughtfully. “Did you try good ‘ole number 23?”
“Beckham plays soccer.”
“I mean Michael Jordan.”
“Well, no. That's a good idea though. But we were really hoping you would come through.”
“Phil, you know I hate doing that. All the other players do is complain, ‘wah, LOBO jumps too high’ and ‘boo-hoo coach, I never get the ball now’. I mean it just wears on me, you know?”
“If you give Kobe the ball once or twice during the game, I’m sure he’ll be cool with it.”
“Artificially inflating another player’s stats is the equivalent of lying Phil. Why should I jeopardize my reputation of integrity by participating in something dishonest?”
“Well telling everyone I use the Triangle Offense when I actually use a rectangle was your idea.”
“Geometry doesn’t count Phil. You know that.”
[brief silence]
“There’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”
“I don’t think so Phil.”
[*muffled sobbing*]
“Phil. You’re going to be fine. Before you know it people will be throwin octopuses and batteries at you too. But you can’t do it with a negative attitude.”
”[*sniff*] Okay LOBO. I’ll try.”
“Atta boy Phil. Now get out there and sink some touchdowns!”
[LOBO]
It was about 8:30 pm when the phone rang.“LOBO?”
“What?”
“LOBO, it’s Phil Jackson.”
“Phil!” I says. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been better. We’re down by 30 points.” Phil sighs audibly. “We need you to suit up.”
“Phil, I haven’t seen my Bulls uniform since the 3-Peat.”
“I’m with the Lakers now.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. We’re in Game 2 of the Finals against the Celtics.”
“The Celtics? Wow. So Larry Bird is really handing it to you, huh?”
“Larry Bird is retired.”
“Well then Magic Johnson should totally cream them!”
“We need you LOBO.”
“But Phil, I’ve only got 29 free days left on AOL. Then those jerks are going to start chargin me.” I rub my temples thoughtfully. “Did you try good ‘ole number 23?”
“Beckham plays soccer.”“I mean Michael Jordan.”
“Well, no. That's a good idea though. But we were really hoping you would come through.”
“Phil, you know I hate doing that. All the other players do is complain, ‘wah, LOBO jumps too high’ and ‘boo-hoo coach, I never get the ball now’. I mean it just wears on me, you know?”
“If you give Kobe the ball once or twice during the game, I’m sure he’ll be cool with it.”
“Artificially inflating another player’s stats is the equivalent of lying Phil. Why should I jeopardize my reputation of integrity by participating in something dishonest?”
“Well telling everyone I use the Triangle Offense when I actually use a rectangle was your idea.”
“Geometry doesn’t count Phil. You know that.”
[brief silence]
“There’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”
“I don’t think so Phil.”
[*muffled sobbing*]
“Phil. You’re going to be fine. Before you know it people will be throwin octopuses and batteries at you too. But you can’t do it with a negative attitude.”
”[*sniff*] Okay LOBO. I’ll try.”
“Atta boy Phil. Now get out there and sink some touchdowns!”
Comments
Glad you did a post about Beckham, I think he doesn't get enough attention.
Hey, I have a question, do you ever find yourself mispronouncing octopuses??
mmm... pie...
but you never heard of me..
sniff.