Predator Press Interviews: Ethan
Predator Press
[LOBO]
"Hey Ethan, do you want to be interviewed on Predator Press?"
"Are you still jealous that Don Lewis got interviewed on Angry Seafood?"
"I am definitely not jealous," I point out. "I'm merely suffering from the perception that attention or appreciation I deserve has been diverted to someone else."
"Like Don Lewis."
"Why would I care if Don Lewis got interviewed? Don Lewis is a great blogger."
"Then why is your eye twitching?"
"It's not twitching. It's exercising. Look, we do lots of interviews. It's a perfectly viable medium for getting to know interesting people and celebrities. And I'll bet all Predator Press readers want to know more about the 'real' Ethan. Do want to be interviewed or not?"
"Well okay. Fire away."
"Cool," I says, sitting across from him with my clipboard. "The first question is 'How long have you known LOBO?'"
"Wait a minute," he says. "Are all these questions about you?"
"Of course not."
He snatches the clipboard from my grasp.
"Don't read those!" I protest. "It will ruin the spontaneity and candid nature of the entire piece!"
"Uh huh," he says reading down the list. "'Is LOBO really as handsome as is reputed?'"
"The people have a right to know."
"'Describe how I landed the brilliant employee in the world.'"
"I love that story."
"'How do you keep yourselves 'down-to-Earth' when constantly surrounded by his outrageous successes?'"
"Okay, I admit that on some of these I'm curious myself."
"'What would you consider to be LOBO's most outrageously successful quality? His' -oh my god- 'well-muscled physique or his radiant brainiosity?'"
"We have to hurry up," I insist. "I need to post this and quickly suit up for the Lakers game. And they have to configure all the CGI equipment so Kobe Bryant's head is superimposed over mine."
"What's the picture of the firemen for?"
"That's for casting LOBO: The Motion Picture; it's kind of a cinematic 'visual aid' of me being portrayed by two gifted actors, swimming in gritty heroism. Now can we please get this over with? If I'm late, we'll lose the game. And they won't let me back in the NFL because I throw the football too hard."
"Using your 'radiant braniosity', guess what I'm going to do with this clipboard."
"Should I go ahead and call the ambulance now?"
[LOBO]
"Hey Ethan, do you want to be interviewed on Predator Press?""Are you still jealous that Don Lewis got interviewed on Angry Seafood?"
"I am definitely not jealous," I point out. "I'm merely suffering from the perception that attention or appreciation I deserve has been diverted to someone else."
"Like Don Lewis."
"Why would I care if Don Lewis got interviewed? Don Lewis is a great blogger."
"Then why is your eye twitching?"
"It's not twitching. It's exercising. Look, we do lots of interviews. It's a perfectly viable medium for getting to know interesting people and celebrities. And I'll bet all Predator Press readers want to know more about the 'real' Ethan. Do want to be interviewed or not?"
"Well okay. Fire away."
"Cool," I says, sitting across from him with my clipboard. "The first question is 'How long have you known LOBO?'"
"Wait a minute," he says. "Are all these questions about you?"
"Of course not."
He snatches the clipboard from my grasp.
"Don't read those!" I protest. "It will ruin the spontaneity and candid nature of the entire piece!"
"Uh huh," he says reading down the list. "'Is LOBO really as handsome as is reputed?'"
"The people have a right to know."
"'Describe how I landed the brilliant employee in the world.'"
"I love that story."
"'How do you keep yourselves 'down-to-Earth' when constantly surrounded by his outrageous successes?'"
"Okay, I admit that on some of these I'm curious myself."
"'What would you consider to be LOBO's most outrageously successful quality? His' -oh my god- 'well-muscled physique or his radiant brainiosity?'"
"We have to hurry up," I insist. "I need to post this and quickly suit up for the Lakers game. And they have to configure all the CGI equipment so Kobe Bryant's head is superimposed over mine."
"What's the picture of the firemen for?"
"That's for casting LOBO: The Motion Picture; it's kind of a cinematic 'visual aid' of me being portrayed by two gifted actors, swimming in gritty heroism. Now can we please get this over with? If I'm late, we'll lose the game. And they won't let me back in the NFL because I throw the football too hard.""Using your 'radiant braniosity', guess what I'm going to do with this clipboard."
"Should I go ahead and call the ambulance now?"
Comments
Hmmph.
Now I see that Ethan beat me to it. :*(
Oh well, I'll settle for clicking you over to humor blogs to get you back on the front page. Which is where you and I belong!! :)
Now will you stop sending me emails. I'm having trouble erasing the 345,232 I have gotten in the last day from you about this.
On a serious note fine fans of LOBO's work you can read his sure-to-be-funny-but-also-paranoid exclusive interview Monday 6/23 at Angry Seafood dot com.