Divining Rod

Predator Press

[LOBO]

If you're reading this blog, most likely you are already sitting.

This is good, because what I'm about to tell you may come as quite a shock ... and I don't need any more lawsuits.

Here goes:


There's a pretty significant statistic of planet
Earth that isn't reading Predator Press.
Okay.

Relax.

Deep breaths.

Take a few seconds before continuing.

I don't type that fast.

Naturally, no one was more shocked than I at this news. I had the Predator Press scienticians check and recheck my figures and spreadsheets, and unfortunately there's just no doubt about it: at this moment you, 'o loyal reader, may be among the lucky few with my selfless Wisdom, Purity, Hope and Truth screaming electronically through your doe-like retinas and into your frontal lobe.

But we cannot judge this widespread ignorance too harshly.

See, roughly 70% of the Earth's population just doesn't get the internet at all. And of the remaining 30%, half of those have Comcast so they aren't able to read any blogs either.

This leaves about 15%.

Now two-thirds of these people are an acceptable margin that I classify as "blog fodder": they are the mindless yet litigiously-solvent and loveable masses of chaff that do the dumb things I make fun of -and won't sue me because they don't know I'm alive.

The remaining 5% are likely the surgeons, firemen, and congressmen -far too busy maintaining the infrastructure of the world, and clearly under the misconception that I am paying attention to it.

Essentially, this leaves Rodney Morgan who lives at 1664 Wintergreen Terrace in Pennsauken, New Jersey.

Rodney has internet connectivity, a fairly mindless job, not much of a social life, no lawn to maintain, no pets, and only goes to family functions twice a year.

Rodney has no excuses whatsoever.

And I want his ass kicked.


Earth is a pretty nice place when viewed From the Roads.