Friday

The Proliferation of The Left

Predator Press

[LOBO]

According to ABC News, "Statistics show left-handed people are more likely to be schizophrenic, alcoholic, delinquent, dyslexic, and have Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis, as well as mental disabilities."

Further tedious statistics reveal that 7-10% of the human population consists of left-handers; this means one out of ten people are left handed.

But if we act quickly, we could totally wipe this seething hoard of freaks out all at once: at ten to one, in a span of mere days we could eradicate the soulless left-handed menace from the face of the Earth altogether.

I like to think it of it as us helping Darwin help God.


7 comments:

Fanton said...

I am left-handed!

I fear that this explains a lot.

Anonymous said...

only the males..I see no reason to cut back on the female part of the equation it cuts dwon on the ogling ...:):)

LOBO said...

Gentlemen,

Since you are my favorite fellow bloggers, I'll have to delete this entire post!

For the record, I knew intuitively I should have ran with my other post idea, "Did I Eat This?" ... but I want to save that one until the film develops.

Haven't seen you in a while! Welcome back!

:)

Bee said...

Is there a waiting list or can we start with my brother-in-law?

Jackie said...

OMG lobo I am left handed too. And, it's all true. This has helped me greatly. Thank you for this information.

But please LOBO, you know I love you. Could you just excuse this one itty bitty left handed nut case?:)

Anonymous said...

How dare they suggest I'm delinquent! I paid Vinnie last week.

chris said...

we rights should wipe out the lefts completely!... wait..that sounded too political...