Eruption
Predator Press
[LOBO]
I can't argue against myself having taken sloth to an unprecedented indolent level never before witnessed by humankind.
As an example, before I started this post I made myself a glass of water. But I left it on the bookshelf -a scant and tantalizing eight inches from my current reach.
Now I'm thirsty, and I can't think of anyone I can email to help me here. I would call someone, but the phone is in the other room ... it would be easier just to get the damn water myself!
From deep in the recesses of my mind, sketchy biology class memories scream to frail and failing survival instincts: no animal can survive extended periods of time without water. It's one of our most basic and essential needs.
How long can we go?
Days?
Hours?
***
Normally the lovely LadyTerri would assist, but she just hasn't been the same since we hadda cancel our Hawaiian vacation. Who knew there was a spending cap on volcano insurance? To hell with Hawaii! Has this woman no conception that I might very well die here?
And then she will have to explain to millions and millions of heartbroken Predator Press fans all over the world how their beloved LOBO was turned to dehydrated and crumbling dust right at his PC. She alone will be responsible for the subsequent mass self-immolations and hoards of people leaping from tall buildings! Future generations will build colossal statues and effigies to commemorate my far-too-brief existence, but it will never slate their immeasurable grief; all that will remain of the Earth will be a cold and lonely, LOBOless sphere drifting aimlessly through the empty void.
And sure maybe some new guy will come along: indeed in the Cosmic Scheme there is always a miniscule, infinitesimal chance that a cheap replica that looks, acts, thinks and Enlightens you people as good me will happen. But what if this guy is a loser? What if ten people come over to get this guy his water, and suddenly they spot him scratching off lottery tickets with what used to be their 'Earned Income Credits'?
***
It's really Hawaii's fault if you think about it. I mean volcanoes? For a state with an economy based on tourism, what fucking genius thought volcanoes was a good idea? Do you see any volcanoes in Vegas, Disneyland or Paris? No. Know why? Because volcanoes can fucking kill you! Why don't we just vacation in a pile of dirty needles? If I went to a travel agent and saw a poster of a volcano and a pile of dirty needles on the wall, I would opt for the dirty needles -assuming they weren't anywhere close to a volcano, of course.
Don't get me wrong. I love vacations. I just hate going on them. I work hard to get my stuff, and like the leisure time to enjoy it. Why would I want to pay a lot of money to go somewhere where my stuff isn't?
And if I go on vacation, who will commission the construction of my much-needed blogging aqueduct?
Hm?
[LOBO]
I can't argue against myself having taken sloth to an unprecedented indolent level never before witnessed by humankind.As an example, before I started this post I made myself a glass of water. But I left it on the bookshelf -a scant and tantalizing eight inches from my current reach.
Now I'm thirsty, and I can't think of anyone I can email to help me here. I would call someone, but the phone is in the other room ... it would be easier just to get the damn water myself!
From deep in the recesses of my mind, sketchy biology class memories scream to frail and failing survival instincts: no animal can survive extended periods of time without water. It's one of our most basic and essential needs.
How long can we go?
Days?
Hours?
Normally the lovely LadyTerri would assist, but she just hasn't been the same since we hadda cancel our Hawaiian vacation. Who knew there was a spending cap on volcano insurance? To hell with Hawaii! Has this woman no conception that I might very well die here?
And then she will have to explain to millions and millions of heartbroken Predator Press fans all over the world how their beloved LOBO was turned to dehydrated and crumbling dust right at his PC. She alone will be responsible for the subsequent mass self-immolations and hoards of people leaping from tall buildings! Future generations will build colossal statues and effigies to commemorate my far-too-brief existence, but it will never slate their immeasurable grief; all that will remain of the Earth will be a cold and lonely, LOBOless sphere drifting aimlessly through the empty void.
And sure maybe some new guy will come along: indeed in the Cosmic Scheme there is always a miniscule, infinitesimal chance that a cheap replica that looks, acts, thinks and Enlightens you people as good me will happen. But what if this guy is a loser? What if ten people come over to get this guy his water, and suddenly they spot him scratching off lottery tickets with what used to be their 'Earned Income Credits'?
It's really Hawaii's fault if you think about it. I mean volcanoes? For a state with an economy based on tourism, what fucking genius thought volcanoes was a good idea? Do you see any volcanoes in Vegas, Disneyland or Paris? No. Know why? Because volcanoes can fucking kill you! Why don't we just vacation in a pile of dirty needles? If I went to a travel agent and saw a poster of a volcano and a pile of dirty needles on the wall, I would opt for the dirty needles -assuming they weren't anywhere close to a volcano, of course.Don't get me wrong. I love vacations. I just hate going on them. I work hard to get my stuff, and like the leisure time to enjoy it. Why would I want to pay a lot of money to go somewhere where my stuff isn't?
And if I go on vacation, who will commission the construction of my much-needed blogging aqueduct?
Hm?
Comments
Of course I like going places but that's not vacation. If I go somewhere like Hawaii or whatever I then need a vacation (see definition above).
Ciao.