Red and Black and Spider Green
Predator Press
[LOBO]
Adultery is easy
Adultery is common.
Adultery is saucy.
-But Fidelity seems far more rare and exotic in contrast.
Fidelity is difficult, understated, and unsung.
As a consequence, Fidelity is the moral equivalent of that skinny redhead kid in grubby clothes that the other kids throw their Tater Tots at when the adults aren’t looking ‘cuz he got lice camping last year after refusing to play 'Doctor' with that slutty chick that was doin "Whip-Its" with all the pesticides.
-Unlike glamorous Adultery, Fidelity slips quietly through High School with nary a ripple ... largely because he has a leg braces, a big weird retainer, and is socially awkward in general. And after trying out for the football team, poor ‘lil unrecognized Fidelity is not considered to live an equally-dangerous full-contact lifestyle as sexy athletic Adultery does, and Fidelity is issued woefully inadequate protective gear: subsequently, he tears his ACL, his team loses the game ... the the seemingly sure-fire trajectory to lead their division into the Finals is utterly destroyed.
And while a battered and broken Fidelity just chugs blandly along forever, Adultery in contrast is already rushed to the front of the line to Oblivion: fueled by an often rage-inciting behavior, chain-smoking boozer Adultery's lifelong hedonistic sex binge is statistically far likelier to receive either a dignified quick youthful death, a lucrative reality show, or a fantastic political career.
-Fidelity, instead, is left adrift to flounder helplessly on his HMO, hobbling around on makeshift crutches and squeaky, bent wheelchairs for many more years to come.
Many years later, Fidelity once again meets that slutty chick from camp that was hoggin all the pesticides and caused him to get lice. Weirdly both -now adults- fall deeply in love. But a week before the wedding Fidelity contracts Hepatitis and discovers his bride-to-be is secretly a coke whore and Libertarian: a subsequent botched sting operation to catch her stealing Fidelity's paltry life savings backfires, and she narrowly escapes by ironically dousing Fidelity in the eyes with an entire bottle of lice repellent leaving Fidelity permanently blind and with a raging, yet-unprecedented case of accelerated male pattern baldness.
Years later, poor Fidelity finds he can’t hide that urine smell no matter how much Old Spice he uses, and he is banished to the alleys ... but still this former athlete adapts, thrives and survives by stealing food from unmonitored rat traps. Seemingly indestructible -even after his arms are amputated due to the numerous untreated rat bites- he persists by swift and dexterous use of his increasingly-nimble toes.
In Fidelity's final decades, our unfaltering hero will grow ultra-sensitive to natural light, shrinking away and shrieking hideously when exposed to it. But again Fidelity turns apples to applesauce: deep within the catacombs of a Los Angeles sewer, Fidelity will enjoy many a comparatively tranquil year laying under a startlingly high-protein leak directly under a liposuction clinic. Content and happy, Fidelity ultimately succumbs to his piteous and unsanitary lifestyle as a host to a hive of giant stainless steel bees with razorwire stingers and acid drool that slowly devour him -from the inside out- in a horrific and macabre agonizing death.
[LOBO]
Adultery is easy
Adultery is common.
Adultery is saucy.
-But Fidelity seems far more rare and exotic in contrast.
Fidelity is difficult, understated, and unsung.
As a consequence, Fidelity is the moral equivalent of that skinny redhead kid in grubby clothes that the other kids throw their Tater Tots at when the adults aren’t looking ‘cuz he got lice camping last year after refusing to play 'Doctor' with that slutty chick that was doin "Whip-Its" with all the pesticides.
-Unlike glamorous Adultery, Fidelity slips quietly through High School with nary a ripple ... largely because he has a leg braces, a big weird retainer, and is socially awkward in general. And after trying out for the football team, poor ‘lil unrecognized Fidelity is not considered to live an equally-dangerous full-contact lifestyle as sexy athletic Adultery does, and Fidelity is issued woefully inadequate protective gear: subsequently, he tears his ACL, his team loses the game ... the the seemingly sure-fire trajectory to lead their division into the Finals is utterly destroyed.
And while a battered and broken Fidelity just chugs blandly along forever, Adultery in contrast is already rushed to the front of the line to Oblivion: fueled by an often rage-inciting behavior, chain-smoking boozer Adultery's lifelong hedonistic sex binge is statistically far likelier to receive either a dignified quick youthful death, a lucrative reality show, or a fantastic political career.
-Fidelity, instead, is left adrift to flounder helplessly on his HMO, hobbling around on makeshift crutches and squeaky, bent wheelchairs for many more years to come.
Many years later, Fidelity once again meets that slutty chick from camp that was hoggin all the pesticides and caused him to get lice. Weirdly both -now adults- fall deeply in love. But a week before the wedding Fidelity contracts Hepatitis and discovers his bride-to-be is secretly a coke whore and Libertarian: a subsequent botched sting operation to catch her stealing Fidelity's paltry life savings backfires, and she narrowly escapes by ironically dousing Fidelity in the eyes with an entire bottle of lice repellent leaving Fidelity permanently blind and with a raging, yet-unprecedented case of accelerated male pattern baldness.
Years later, poor Fidelity finds he can’t hide that urine smell no matter how much Old Spice he uses, and he is banished to the alleys ... but still this former athlete adapts, thrives and survives by stealing food from unmonitored rat traps. Seemingly indestructible -even after his arms are amputated due to the numerous untreated rat bites- he persists by swift and dexterous use of his increasingly-nimble toes.
In Fidelity's final decades, our unfaltering hero will grow ultra-sensitive to natural light, shrinking away and shrieking hideously when exposed to it. But again Fidelity turns apples to applesauce: deep within the catacombs of a Los Angeles sewer, Fidelity will enjoy many a comparatively tranquil year laying under a startlingly high-protein leak directly under a liposuction clinic. Content and happy, Fidelity ultimately succumbs to his piteous and unsanitary lifestyle as a host to a hive of giant stainless steel bees with razorwire stingers and acid drool that slowly devour him -from the inside out- in a horrific and macabre agonizing death.
Comments
You know, you can battle that urine smell by aiming or, if that doesn't work for you, showers. Based on my adventures with my son getting potty-trained, urine'll wash right off.
Read the headlines at the checkout counter. We just don't seem to buy many magazines about "Fidelity."
Don: Haha! Hurry ... Jon Gosselin is probably looking for a designated driver this weekend. :)
John: As I've said, this is not about personal life -quite the contrary, were I "up" to something, this would be a damn foolish subject to tackle head on.
That said, the only thing clarified here is which side of the fence you sit.
But don't feel bad ... it only underlines my point.
-It just seems bizarre to me. Everyone says adultery is bad, but American media reflects the contrary.
I'm a big believer of watching people’s wallets instead of listening to their “rap.” If you buy a side of beef every week but don’t eat any of it, should the fact you are a vegetarian count for anything?
my mandie reed
(-Screw it I lied. You've pointed out why, by virtue of injuries, I'm screwed on my Fantasy Football League.)