Predator Press
[LOBO]The global scientific community was rocked today by suggestions that someone may have indeed slept with Nicole Richie.
Doctor Winifred Shaw, Head Researcher for the Darwin Institute, took a moment from looting the burning laboratory of microscopes and Petri dishes to clarify.
"For a long time now, we have lived in a shadow of doubt regarding Darwin's Theory of Evolution. This, finally, is a clear refutation. And think about it for a second: if Darwin's theory is correct, why are there still ugly people all over the place?"Hurling a fire extinguisher through a rack of cathode tubes, Doctor Shaw continues. "Barring the statistically improbable confluence of a blind and deaf recent parolee consuming heroic amounts of alcohol, we have no explanation for this whatsoever. Now if you will excuse me, I've had my eye on a supercollider downstairs for years."
5 comments:
Who?
Blame Lindsey Lohan. She's got a pair! Oy vey!
As long as it wasn't me who slept with her, it's all good... It wasn't me, right?
This post begs the obvious question: Do the kids grow up to be reality tv stars or members of crappy pop bands?
Stephanie: I know ... I'm still a little bitter on that whole "Simple Life" arrogant piece of crap she did, mocking the American working class with Paris Hilton.
-This will take long time for me to mellow on.
Don: Remember when Lohan looked half sane and Britney Spears was spinning out?
Bee: Rest assured it wasn't you. I don't care how drunk you get, nobody forgets the need to gargle with Brillo.
Chris: Oh man that thought just shot a shiver up my spine.
Maybe the progeny will host a show mocking what working class and poor kids do in school or something ...
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