[LOBO]
Millions and millions of readers are always asking me everyday, "LOBO, how can I learn to blog good?"Well I’m glad you asked me that.
See, the environment from which you blog can’t be taken seriously enough.
Obviously we can’t all blog like Diesel does -drinkin’ chardonnay and smokin’ cigars with all the leisure time in the world, insulated in the 57th-story penthouse of the Humor-Blogs skyscraper and guarded by an evil Ed Harris and a battery of deadly bikini-clad secretaries.
Nor can we like the much-beloved Doctor Toboggans -from the deep unmapped catacomby bowels of the Delta Medical Center, surrounded by cages of helpful serial killers and upbeat Wall Street executives.
From the surface level of the Earth one must take precautions lest the aliens read your unprotected terrestrial thoughts and suck out your blogging ideas -thus paving the way to the enslavement of Humankind in the blogging labor camps on Alpha Centauri.
And not just anybody can make a regulation foil fedora that blocks your brainwaves from interception: don't fall for rank amateur construction! Without the proper pyramidical dimensions, improper geometrical configurations can actually amplify valuable transmissions to the Evil Alien Omnocracy!Further, one should probably start with a nice and quiet ergonomic space restricted explicitly for blogging.
And deploy a 3000-watt strobe light immediately.
-It confuses the zombies.
8 comments:
Lots of Mayonnaise is also good. But not that no-fat crap. And don't get me started on so-called sandwich spreads. Give me a break!
I hadn't tried the foil hat. Thanks!
Sometimes the zombies can help though, input from someone thats literally brain dead can help attract a lot of people on the internet...
Chris Wood's Blog best for to learn English how to write good. Lobo Blog excellent in learn blog skills very well.
I'm with Alex, the value of using zombies as a focus group cannot be overstated.
Neither can the shadow cast by Toboggan's gigantic ego.
This advice was invaluable!...for those who are intellectually outclassed by dead sheep and botched lobotomy patients everywhere.
Another word of advice for these types: Don't Put Your Head in the Microwave (wearing your foil fedora or not)!
"evil Ed Harris" is redundant. Other than that, nice work.
Love those antennae.
Did I tell you lately how much you make me laugh?
I would say instead, Did I tell you lately how much I love you? But I am mortally afraid of the skillet.
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