Techno, Safari and Pasties Oh My

Predator Press

[LOBO]

When I heard about that missing stripper pole, I immediately recognized the larger potential ramifications.

Ethan bought Nipples Italy based on his keen scientific business insights and a predatory understanding of how much a guy will pay to see a naked woman: if those industrial guys at Zayne had no place to spend all their money, they might sober up, get married, raise families, and start acting responsibly; this would ultimately mean we would have to either pay them more, or shitcan the entire lot of them and find a bunch of other guys that'll do that work real cheap.

I don't know about you, but I'm not prepared to see the entire vital workforce of Pianosa unemployed and possibly assassinated in order to protect our trade secrets (as explicitly described in the excruciatingly small print of their contracts). Plus this might start a chain reaction that could shut down the entire nation, and a complete economic collapse of possibly dozens of other economic global juggernauts and superpowers.

I'll bet having strippers with no poles isn't even OSHA compliant.

I couldn't sleep at night knowing a tawny young Tiffany is somewhere baring her first public pelvic thrusts to a bunch of drunken assholes, and throwing her leg in the air during a pirouette to find no pole to support her balance! Boom! There lies little Tiffany with a twisted ankle and deployed airbags. And as 'lil Tiffany busts into uncontrollable flames, her hard-earned college money and diuretic suppositories scatter slowly through the air like so many flammable negligent little leaves ...

… You people have no idea what I go through in order to save the Universe.

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