This is Your Brain on Drugs and Ruining My Carpet

Predator Press

[Mr Insanity]

“Is it addictive?” asks the President of the Food and Drug Administration over the speaker.

“Not at all,” replies Ethan. “OxyCaine lodges itself in the pleasure center of the brain and, eh, 'improves the efficiency the circuitry’ if you will, on a completely permanent basis. Who would want to increase dosage for that?”

“Are there any side effects?”.

“No, no,” Ethan says into the speakerphone. “Other than feeling and acting like a pretentious ass all the time, an intense enormous 24-7 erection and losing ten pounds a month like it or not, there are no side effects whatsoever.”

There’s a brief silence.

Then finally, “Um, can I get some samples before I make my decision?”