Jedi Woodshed

Predator Press

[LOBO]

"LOBO," says Lindsay Lohan, extending her lightsaber. "You are plotting to use drugs to fund an intergalactic Empire, and thus have fallen to the Dark Side."

"Yeah, so?" I says. "What about the 'Grateful Dead'? And Pfizer? And Twinkies for that matter?"

"You may have beaten my Time-Traveling Ninja Bodyguards," she continues, "but I emailed George Lucas today; when he finds out about all these copyright infringements, he's gonna sue you down to your socks!" She rubs her thumb across her fingertips, and then blows on them. "Predator Press is finished."

"WHORE!" I scream, viciously swinging my, uh, 'lit up, pointy-stick' ...