NBC, Predator Press Vie for Post-Prison Paris

Predator Press

[LOBO]

Our initial offer was some 2-for-1 Whopper coupons, and one for $4 off for an oil change at Meineke.

But then NBC edged us out by offering an additional $999,992.00 in cash.

So I call Brian Williams, right? I says "Brian, Buddy. What are you doing?"

And Brian says, "We're going to scoop you on this one LOBO. I've secretly always wanted to have a larger, more popular news organization than Predator Press."

"As Paris' oldest and staunchest supporters and fans," I reply, "we're still counting on her coming through for us instead. And NBC has a lot of potential; don't jeopardize your credibility over some petty jealousy."

"Screw you LOBO," says Brian. "We're getting this story."

"Screw me!?" I says. "I'll wedgie you up to your ears, you jerk!"

"Yeah," says David. "You and what army, you stinky-faced poo-poo head?"

"I know you are but what am I?" I retort cleverly.

"I'm rubber and you're glue-"

"I know you are but what am I?" I maintain relentlessly. Then, sticking fingers in both ears, I sing "Lalalalala" for like five minutes.

At some point, he hung up on me.

Real mature, Brian.

Real mature.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hey Brian. Tell you what, I recently did an article on my site on the Paris and did you know you can send her a Care Package c/o the LA Penal system? Maybe if you do that, Ms Paris will personally send you an autographed "jailhouse" photo that you can sell for a cool 5Mil.

Good luck.

:)

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