Pontius Pirate
Predator Press
[LOBO]
I watched Sapphire crunch through the pile of skeletons as she made her way from the car to the front door. While the carnivorous cicadas eyed her warily, they appeared disinterested in dining on the advanced synthetic plastics and alloys she was constructed from.
To them, she's the human equivalent of tofu.
Half of the entire town has been wiped out. Their skeletons, scattered and twisted in agonized poses, were baking dry in the noonday sun.
It's the biblical Plague of Locusts.
Armageddon.
--Jerry Falwell must've told Jesus about Sanjaya.
Someone knocked at the door.
"Who is it?" I ask.
"It's me, dumbass," says Sapphire.
"How do I know it's really you, and not some particularly intelligent cicada?"
"Open this goddamn door," demands the voice, "or I'll pull your tongue through your keyster!"
"It is you!" I says, letting her in quickly. "Thank God you came."
"What happened here? Why are there so many bodies in the lawn?"
I point at a group of skeletons sprinkled with gardening tools. "Well, in chronological order, those guys are gardeners. Those guys are the Fire Department, who I called to rescue the gardeners. Those guys are the cops I called to rescue the Fire Department. And that's what's left of the pizza delivery guy."
"Why did you call the pizza delivery guy?"
"I was hungry."
[LOBO]
I watched Sapphire crunch through the pile of skeletons as she made her way from the car to the front door. While the carnivorous cicadas eyed her warily, they appeared disinterested in dining on the advanced synthetic plastics and alloys she was constructed from.
To them, she's the human equivalent of tofu.
Half of the entire town has been wiped out. Their skeletons, scattered and twisted in agonized poses, were baking dry in the noonday sun.
It's the biblical Plague of Locusts.
Armageddon.
--Jerry Falwell must've told Jesus about Sanjaya.
Someone knocked at the door.
"Who is it?" I ask.
"It's me, dumbass," says Sapphire.
"How do I know it's really you, and not some particularly intelligent cicada?"
"Open this goddamn door," demands the voice, "or I'll pull your tongue through your keyster!"
"It is you!" I says, letting her in quickly. "Thank God you came."
"What happened here? Why are there so many bodies in the lawn?"
I point at a group of skeletons sprinkled with gardening tools. "Well, in chronological order, those guys are gardeners. Those guys are the Fire Department, who I called to rescue the gardeners. Those guys are the cops I called to rescue the Fire Department. And that's what's left of the pizza delivery guy."
"Why did you call the pizza delivery guy?"
"I was hungry."
Comments
I love the smell of Armageddon in the morning...
This is pure joy...