On Top
Predator Press
[LOBO]
“Babs,” I says into the prison phone. “You look great. Make up, hot outfit … it’s totally amazing how well you’re doing in here.”
“Thanks,” she spits. Snapping her fingers, she points at a guard. “You. Bring me a sifter of cognac.” Eyeing LOBO, she adds, “Make that a double.”
“Sure thing sugar,” says the guard.
“Wow,” I says, dazzled. You’re practically running the place now. But why is your lipstick all messed up? And why are you always brushing your teeth?”
“When are you getting me out of here?”
“Why would you want to get out? Hell, with all those chicks in there, I wanna get in. I'm tired of hanging out in the parking lot and getting rebuffed by the parolees. Can you imagine how much action I would probably somehow not get if was inside? I've already started a tunnel!”
“LOBO, please. I want out. To see birds in the blue sky--”
“Birds!?” I interrupt. “Listen baby, there are three rules in life you need to follow. The first is Don’t eat egg salad sandwiches out of vending machines. The second is Always wear underwear because your zipper conducts electricity. And the third is Never ever ever trust an animal that doesn’t have the decency to be on the ground when it takes a crap.”
[LOBO]
“Babs,” I says into the prison phone. “You look great. Make up, hot outfit … it’s totally amazing how well you’re doing in here.”
“Thanks,” she spits. Snapping her fingers, she points at a guard. “You. Bring me a sifter of cognac.” Eyeing LOBO, she adds, “Make that a double.”
“Sure thing sugar,” says the guard.
“Wow,” I says, dazzled. You’re practically running the place now. But why is your lipstick all messed up? And why are you always brushing your teeth?”
“When are you getting me out of here?”
“Why would you want to get out? Hell, with all those chicks in there, I wanna get in. I'm tired of hanging out in the parking lot and getting rebuffed by the parolees. Can you imagine how much action I would probably somehow not get if was inside? I've already started a tunnel!”
“LOBO, please. I want out. To see birds in the blue sky--”
“Birds!?” I interrupt. “Listen baby, there are three rules in life you need to follow. The first is Don’t eat egg salad sandwiches out of vending machines. The second is Always wear underwear because your zipper conducts electricity. And the third is Never ever ever trust an animal that doesn’t have the decency to be on the ground when it takes a crap.”
Comments
Let's face it - Babs needs all the help she can get!