Malaise

Predator Press

[LOBO]

“Look,” says RDO. “If you wanted to be an astronaut so bad, why did you give NASA this obviously phony letter of recommendation from Stephen Hawking?”

“Stephen Hawking and I grew up together,” says me. “We met in 4-H. It was good times. We used to road-load on the tractor and throw empty Boonesfarm bottles at the Chess Club while they were playing Dungeons and Dragons.”

“This letter is handwritten. In crayon.”

“That whole wheelchair thing is an act. It’s like his gimmick. In reality, we play racquetball every Tuesday and Thursday. And you should see the tail that guy pulls down … it’s fucking amazing. Whenever the guy mentions the ‘Planck’s Law’ or ‘quantum flux’, you can almost hear soggy panties hit the floor.”