Charlie Who -Wants to WHAT?

Predator Press

[LOBO]

I think Charlie Sheen should get his meeting with Obama to discuss the possibility of a 9/11 conspiracy, but only under the condition that it’s a “quid quo pro”: I’ve been trying to figure out what conspiracy allowed the making of Major League II for years.

Perhaps this is an example of “Method Acting”: Charlie -absolutely seething with "Method"- is about to release a movie called Foodfight! where he voices a character named Dex Dogtective. This controversy will doubtlessly cause enough Hollywood “buzz” to finally catapult Charlie's performances into the Oscars.

Charlie Sheen is most certainly an actor. Al Fresco -the guy that unloads his mower from a pickup truck and mows my lawn- is most certainly a gardener. But I am always happy to see Al Fresco ... largely because he does much-needed work, and he does it extremely well.

This isn’t to say I don't want every teeny nuance of 9/11 investigated; I'm just saying from a Public Relations standpoint, Al Fresco should be at this meeting too.

-Al Fresco doesn’t speak good English well, but nonetheless may contribute volumes to the meeting's credibility by simple virtue of his unrelentingly conscientious taste, and extraordinary talent for his craft.

Meanwhile Charlie hawks Hanes® underwear.

But could Charlie's underwear possibly be better than Al Fresco's?

I rest my case.

Comments

Stephanie Barr said…
Although it doesn't apply to all actors, there are certainly a number (of either gender) who should never speak a line that someone else hasn't written for them.

And some just shouldn't speak at all.
LOBO said…
With the exception of "Red Dawn," Carlie Sheen is barely qualified as an 'actor.'

-How can a man who is 'barely an actor' demand an audience with someone who is 'barely a President?'

(I have to check with my 'barely qualified political advisors' on this ... I have a headache)
Charlie Sheen had a moment or two of mediocrity in Platoon and Wall Street. By my estimation, he is qualified to demand an audience with The Secretary of the Interior on odd days of the month, when there is a full moon and that flaming turd nugget of a show that he is on is number one in the ratings. Else, nothing.
Chris C said…
Weird. Usually a celeb brings up political stuff when their movie/tv show is expected to bomb. If their latest endeavor was that great there would be no need to go off-topic.

But he's coming off his best seasonal ratings yet of his show. I guess we can logically guess that Two and a Half Men will have horrible ratings this season.

On a side note did you read his fictional interview with Obama?
Stickman said…
Al Fresco looks like he might be Two and a Half Men all by himself!
Kirsten said…
Charlie Sheen should stick to what he knows,
...ummmmm......
Maybe he should just go away.
Donnie said…
Give Charlie a break. Look who his dad is will ya? Another looney tune for Christ's sake!! Besides, even pretending to wear underwear and asking for a ride from MJ is in itself quite an act worth something, but not much!
Ann said…
At least Al Fresco does something to actually EARN his paycheck. Charlie hasn't done anything that has ever really impressed me.
Anonymous said…
Oh, come on LOBO... Charlie was great in... no, that was Tom Berringer and Willem Dafoe. But there was... no, that was Heather Locklear. Oh, how about... hmmm, that was Heather Locklear and Chris Tucker. OK, so maybe we could get Danny Bonaduce to give him a wedgie.
LOBO said…
DG: You're makin it too easy! lol

Chris: Honestly besides car-crashy type stuff, I watch almost exclusively documentaries and educational crap. And needless to say you don't see Charlie on too many of those.

-With the exception of the MJ/Hanes commercial, I had no idea he was even working.

As for the "fictional interview" I google for it ... I'll bet it's mind blowing.

Stickman: You won't believe this, but I had a really hard time finding a pic of a gardener that convincingly looked like he might not be able to speak English.

The ACLU is probably suing Google for my identity even as we speak.

Kirsten: Can you imagine a world where Charlie is elevated to the social import he feels he is?

-Just how much booze is there on Earth anyway?

Don: MJ peeling out to escape is even funnier now somehow!!

Ann: He's got a handful of gems ... but you gotta sift through his cargo ship of turds to find 'em.

Jamie: My wife and I laughed our asses off at this comment .... thanks Jamie!

Ooo! Wouldn't a Sheen-Bonaduce exhibition boxing match rock?

-Anyone feeling like starting an internet rumor? heehee

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