Exclusive: Larry Craig is Not Gay
Predator Press
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When I came across this picture, it all became clear.
Senator Larry Craig really isn't gay!
As a senator, Craig gives a lot of impassioned, authoritative and important speeches, right? He's under a lot of pressure. And when you stand in front of a podium, it does kinda resemble a urinal.
Now look at the picture again. See how he conspicuously avoids contact with the numerous phallics available? Hell, even Senator Patty Murray is squirmy!
Maybe he's in the bathroom, and suddenly needs to make a speech? Or what if one whiff of that urinal cake makes him regress into a state of seething, squirty debauched lizard-like cesspool of amorous desire, ready to penetrate virtually anything on two legs.
But he's not a lawyer, he's a politician.
Every last one of you "rushing to judgment" over a married homophobic father who tried to engage in a random sexual encounter with a stranger of the same sex in an airport bathroom should be ashamed of yourselves. Seriously. "Let He Without Sin Roll the First Stone."
I know it's only August, but this brave soldier has gone through a lot to beat out Paris Hilton and Michael Vick to earn my nod as the Predator Press Man of the Year.
(--and if those pricks at TIME Magazine steal any more of my ideas, I'm going to send them a really nasty email!)
[LOBO]
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| Hurry Larry! The Final Jeopardy Round Countdown Music is playing! |
Senator Larry Craig really isn't gay!
As a senator, Craig gives a lot of impassioned, authoritative and important speeches, right? He's under a lot of pressure. And when you stand in front of a podium, it does kinda resemble a urinal.
Now look at the picture again. See how he conspicuously avoids contact with the numerous phallics available? Hell, even Senator Patty Murray is squirmy!
Maybe he's in the bathroom, and suddenly needs to make a speech? Or what if one whiff of that urinal cake makes him regress into a state of seething, squirty debauched lizard-like cesspool of amorous desire, ready to penetrate virtually anything on two legs.
But he's not a lawyer, he's a politician.
Every last one of you "rushing to judgment" over a married homophobic father who tried to engage in a random sexual encounter with a stranger of the same sex in an airport bathroom should be ashamed of yourselves. Seriously. "Let He Without Sin Roll the First Stone."
I know it's only August, but this brave soldier has gone through a lot to beat out Paris Hilton and Michael Vick to earn my nod as the Predator Press Man of the Year.
(--and if those pricks at TIME Magazine steal any more of my ideas, I'm going to send them a really nasty email!)
Comments
I would need a tub of antibacterial lotion and 3 martinis in me before I would even dare.
I never knew a code existed in the bathroom (I never use to stalls because I feel so vulnerable with that weak lock)
U are frigging Hilarious!!
I loved the Michael Vick sends Craig a FruitBasket too!!!!
;PPP
They are both as hot as ice.
You crack me up. Thanks for the add btw.