Team Building

Predator Press

[LOBO]

“This will be good for you,” Ethan says to us in the mirror, tilting his faded tan vacationers hat.

“You see?” I says to Sapphire, “I told you this would suck. This is one of those ‘Character Building’ scams our parents used to play on us.”

Ethan pulls over in a thick green and brown wad of nothing.

Mr Insanity, Phoebe and Sapphire disembark.

Ethan puts an arm behind the passenger seat, twisting to see me. “You too, buddy.”

“But Ethan,” I protest.

“I’m going to be right here. We’re doing this together.”

“Okay,” I says. I get out, and Ethan peels out into the woods, spitting mud everywhere.

“Nice going dumbass,” says Mr. Insanity.

“What exactly did you write about me?” asks Sapphire.

“Does anyone else have any supplies?” asks Phoebe.

“I’ve got the survival kit that Ethan left,” says Mr. Insanity.

“And I’ve got an internal GPS,” says Sapphire.

Phoebe scowls, “Well, I’ve got an internal IUD.”

“Ladies, ladies,” I says, “I’ve got everything under control. This isn’t the first time I’ve gone through one of Ethan’s teambuilding exercises.”

Mr. Insanity balks. “Oh really genius? Whatcha got?”

I pick up a naked live wire with one hand, gingerly balancing my Cherry Coke Slurpee in the other. “I’ve got this. “

“What the fuck is that?” demands Phoebe as it cracks violently in the air.

“It’s an extension cord,” I says smugly. “I’ve been unrolling it since we met at that 7-11.”

“A broken extension cord,” sighs Mr. Insanity. “Well thank God we have one of those.”

“Maybe LOBO’s right for once,” says Phoebe. “At least we can find our way back to wherever that plug ripped out …”

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