Runnin With the Anvil
Predator Press
[Mr. Insanity]
"Nope. Dead, dead, dead", said Legless Jim as he read through the newspaper. "Says here the guy whacked an exports magnate ‘an stole over two million bucks. And then the dumbass goes and overdoses in a motel room."
"Thank God," says LOBO reading over his shoulder. Ethan has given me strict orders not to let LOBO read the newspaper without supervision; last time he did, he got a paper cut on his thumb and had to wear a giant cone on his neck to stop him from chewing on it. "This guy was obviously a menace to society."
In the casino lobby, they were filming a new episode of The Shield, and we were invited to watch. In this episode, David Lee Roth was introduced as the newest member of the "Strike Team".
"Wow guys!" says DLR, reading the teleprompter. "Thanks to me, we're the biggest, sexiest, wealthiest, most effective law enforcement unit in the whole world. Nothing can stop us now!"
Then, from behind, Lemonhead puts a pillowcase over Diamond Dave's head, and Vic and Shane beat him to death with shovels.
***
Among Dave's entourage, a bevy of beautiful babes, one girl recognizes LOBO.
"Aren't you--?"
"Never seen you before," insists LOBO, nervous.
"No, you're that guy from--"
"No I'm not," he says emphatically. "You must be mistaken."
"No," she smiles. "You're 'Bolt Upright', the mailman in The Hills and Thighs!"
LOBO sighed. "Traci Lords promised me I would get an Emmy --or something that kinda rhymes with it-- if I just rang the doorbell with a certified letter. But then Jeanna Jameson and Catalina Cruz took off their clothes and started making out."
We were amazed. "Well, what happened then?" I asked.
"I reported them for postal fraud."
[Mr. Insanity]
"Nope. Dead, dead, dead", said Legless Jim as he read through the newspaper. "Says here the guy whacked an exports magnate ‘an stole over two million bucks. And then the dumbass goes and overdoses in a motel room."
"Thank God," says LOBO reading over his shoulder. Ethan has given me strict orders not to let LOBO read the newspaper without supervision; last time he did, he got a paper cut on his thumb and had to wear a giant cone on his neck to stop him from chewing on it. "This guy was obviously a menace to society."
In the casino lobby, they were filming a new episode of The Shield, and we were invited to watch. In this episode, David Lee Roth was introduced as the newest member of the "Strike Team".
"Wow guys!" says DLR, reading the teleprompter. "Thanks to me, we're the biggest, sexiest, wealthiest, most effective law enforcement unit in the whole world. Nothing can stop us now!"
Then, from behind, Lemonhead puts a pillowcase over Diamond Dave's head, and Vic and Shane beat him to death with shovels.
Among Dave's entourage, a bevy of beautiful babes, one girl recognizes LOBO.
"Aren't you--?"
"Never seen you before," insists LOBO, nervous.
"No, you're that guy from--"
"No I'm not," he says emphatically. "You must be mistaken."
"No," she smiles. "You're 'Bolt Upright', the mailman in The Hills and Thighs!"
LOBO sighed. "Traci Lords promised me I would get an Emmy --or something that kinda rhymes with it-- if I just rang the doorbell with a certified letter. But then Jeanna Jameson and Catalina Cruz took off their clothes and started making out."
We were amazed. "Well, what happened then?" I asked.
"I reported them for postal fraud."
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