Predator Press
[Mr. Insanity]
Sergeant Bellows looked over LOBO's application with a raised eyebrow. "In the box marked 'sex', you wrote 'often'."
LOBO and Legless Jim snickered.
"Oh wow that's funny," says the swiveling cigar. From somewhere in the smoke, he says "I've never seen that one before."
"Well, it's 'don't ask, don’t tell', right?" says Legless Jim.
"That's for sexuality."
We could see LOBO's dream of being deployed on an all-female aircraft carrier disintegrate in his glassy eyes.
"But 'please indicate your sexuality' is on the application!" he protested.
"Yeah, I see that. And you wrote 'flaming gay' ..."
"So I could be deployed with the hot chicks!"
"Whatever."
Well okay, now I'm curious. "But I thought your couldn't ask--"
Bellows swings the cigar into his waiting fingertips. "We didn't ask. We told him to fill out this application." Cigar in the ashtray, he leans back. "Look, how are we ever going to prosecute people for 'asking' if we don't know that the truth is? At least this way, if anybody calls Mr. Curr 'flaming gay', we can immediately shoot them because we know they asked."
"Hm," Says LOBO, now intrigued. "But what if someone calls me a 'raving heterosexual' or something?"
"Don't worry," I says. "There's no danger of that. In the entire span of this Blog, the only chick that even remotely wanted to pounce you got run over with a spaceship."
"But I'm not gay," says LOBO.
We all stare.
"I'm not!!!"
[Mr. Insanity]
Sergeant Bellows looked over LOBO's application with a raised eyebrow. "In the box marked 'sex', you wrote 'often'."
LOBO and Legless Jim snickered.
"Oh wow that's funny," says the swiveling cigar. From somewhere in the smoke, he says "I've never seen that one before."
"Well, it's 'don't ask, don’t tell', right?" says Legless Jim.
"That's for sexuality."
We could see LOBO's dream of being deployed on an all-female aircraft carrier disintegrate in his glassy eyes.
"But 'please indicate your sexuality' is on the application!" he protested.
"Yeah, I see that. And you wrote 'flaming gay' ..."
"So I could be deployed with the hot chicks!"
"Whatever."
Well okay, now I'm curious. "But I thought your couldn't ask--"
Bellows swings the cigar into his waiting fingertips. "We didn't ask. We told him to fill out this application." Cigar in the ashtray, he leans back. "Look, how are we ever going to prosecute people for 'asking' if we don't know that the truth is? At least this way, if anybody calls Mr. Curr 'flaming gay', we can immediately shoot them because we know they asked."
"Hm," Says LOBO, now intrigued. "But what if someone calls me a 'raving heterosexual' or something?"
"Don't worry," I says. "There's no danger of that. In the entire span of this Blog, the only chick that even remotely wanted to pounce you got run over with a spaceship."
"But I'm not gay," says LOBO.
We all stare.
"I'm not!!!"
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