Las Vegas
Predator Press
[LOBO]
The flight to Vegas wasn't pleasant.
My full-scale replica of a trailer park made of discarded "90 Day Free" AOL discs was wiped out by a full-scale replica of an F-4 Tornado, which continued on to destroy the rest of our hometown Pianosa as we knew an loved it.
"My God," I said to the insurance company. "The whole replica?"
"Yes sir."
"What about the rest of the town?"
"Totaled sir. The entire town has been catastrophically wiped from the face of the Earth."
"Wow."
"We estimate the damages to be around $85. There will be a plumber and an electrician there in the morning. Whole town should be completely replaced by four o'clock".
"What the hell am I supposed to do --homeless-- in the meantime?" I demanded. "And what happens with my full-scale replica of a trailer park made of discarded 90 Day Free AOL discs?"
"If you would like to check on the status of your claim, please press six."
"But I was just talking to somebody!"
"No you weren't. If you would like to speak to an operator, please press the Scroll Lock."
”The what? On the telephone?”
“Too late,” said the voice. “Welcome to the Main Directory …”
***
Around midnight the subsequent and comprehensive voice mail instructed "If you have a pastel colored DC-9 labeled 'Aloha' handy, press four".
I pressed four, and an insurance adjuster said I should just go to Vegas ...
[LOBO]
The flight to Vegas wasn't pleasant.
My full-scale replica of a trailer park made of discarded "90 Day Free" AOL discs was wiped out by a full-scale replica of an F-4 Tornado, which continued on to destroy the rest of our hometown Pianosa as we knew an loved it.
"My God," I said to the insurance company. "The whole replica?"
"Yes sir."
"What about the rest of the town?"
"Totaled sir. The entire town has been catastrophically wiped from the face of the Earth."
"Wow."
"We estimate the damages to be around $85. There will be a plumber and an electrician there in the morning. Whole town should be completely replaced by four o'clock".
"What the hell am I supposed to do --homeless-- in the meantime?" I demanded. "And what happens with my full-scale replica of a trailer park made of discarded 90 Day Free AOL discs?"
"If you would like to check on the status of your claim, please press six."
"But I was just talking to somebody!"
"No you weren't. If you would like to speak to an operator, please press the Scroll Lock."
”The what? On the telephone?”
“Too late,” said the voice. “Welcome to the Main Directory …”
Around midnight the subsequent and comprehensive voice mail instructed "If you have a pastel colored DC-9 labeled 'Aloha' handy, press four".
I pressed four, and an insurance adjuster said I should just go to Vegas ...
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