It's Official: I Hate Everyone
Predator Press
[LOBO]
I get really really mad at my cat Phil sometimes.
-And sure, every house gets the occasional fly.
But when you own a cat, doesn’t it seem incumbent upon them not to have flies in your house?
I only bring this up because moments ago I’m skimming blogs and drinking coffee –as is my morning routine- and a fly landed on my hand. I slapped at it, but the quick little bastard zigzagged off somewhere.
Phil, at the base of my desk chair, is giving me a migraine meowing.
“No!” I says to her. “Didn’t you see that fly land on my hand? I’m not feeding you for an hour, you damned freeloading moocher!”
To underline this sweeping new policy I take a huge swig of coffee, and realize there’s a fairly large and fuzzy foreign object in my mouthful.
I found the fly.
“Oh yeah Miss Smartypants?" I says moments later to a disappointed Phil, wiping my chin. "Well it’ll take me at least an hour to get all that coffee off of my monitor!”
Comments
I addressed the box "icanhazcheeseburger.net"
(UPS will figure out the "com" thing at some point, right?)
Daisy: yes well please explain this to Phil in detail.
Phil is funny. We'll be sleeping in the dead of night, and suddenly CRASH! BAM! BOOM! the chase is on.
-I suppose the bright side is she's not quite the path of destruction she used to be.
Stephanie: She gets good grades overall. But Terri is looking at getting a bulldog, so the pressure to perform is currently very high.
Patricia: If a rat landed on my hand, the title of this post would have been "LOBO Dies of Cardiac Arrest ..."
-Then again, I probably would've spotted a rat in my coffee.
Jen: Awww ... give the critter a chance. I actually used to be a dog person, but when I got Phil I was living alone and working 12-14 hour shifts; I always had this picture in my head of a dog just starin at the door waiting for me the whole time.
Cats are cool. You don't have to walk them, they aren't as 'needy,' and you can't beat the whole litterbox routine ....