Leperball

Predator Press

[LOBO]

People are always asking me, "LOBO, with basketball season over and football not yet in full swing, how does a legendary athlete such as yourself spend your leisure time?”

Well I’m glad you asked me that.

I’ve always believed that people as gifted and successful as myself should spend a lot of time giving back to the community; encouraging the "less fortunate" that they too might become a chiseled physical phenomena such as myself is exactly the false hope today’s kids need to keep them from dealing drugs, stealing my car, or other things 'the community' generally frowns upon.

With Shark Boxing still tied up in pre-production due to a quagmire of insurance hassles, I generally spend my weekends coaching a pee-wee football team I signed up for Pop Warner called the Starfishes -a spirited and rugged little squad of ‘can do’ types, all afflicted with advanced stages of leprosy.

This is my third year -the first of which I am Federally mandated to because of the “Anti-Discrimination Act.” -Little Timmy's dad used it to sue me when I puked at the post-game pizza party and tried to resign.

Little Timmy is now quarterback.

His 'lil dad must be so proud ...

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Comments

kathcom said…
I'd hate to be the guy who has to pick up the parts off the field and hose out the helmets after the game.

Thanks to your excellent use of imagery, I won't be eating pizza until my memory of this fades.
Anonymous said…
Stupid law suits.
LOBO said…
Kathcom: We use seagulls, rats and feral dogs.

-The whole operation is very environmentally-savvy.

Jamie: Yes. Of all the subpoenas I get every day, these are the most troubling.

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