The "Home Grown" Terrorists
Predator Press
[LOBO]
Regarding the still-emerging story about the local boys in New York who were thwarted by the FBI from destroying synagogues and planes, I’m just as intrigued as anyone else.
-But I can’t finish reading msnbc.com’s version (linked here); every time I get to the line in the story that asserts one of them “smoked marijuana the day the plot was to be carried out,” my brain just strokes off.
Am I the only one here impressed that guy even showed up? And why couldn’t he just eat frozen Snickers and play XBox like everyone else? Did he even have an Xbox?
Cripes, you can’t start a Holy War if you can’t get a damn Xbox -Osama would laugh at you and send you home with a note pinned to your shirt! And perhaps justly so; The FBI arranged for these guys to be given useless explosives ... the real Al Qaeda probably drug tests their members to ensure they don't try to detonate tapioca or, stricken with "the munchies," eat half the explosives before arriving at the target.
Anywho, as mentioned earlier, they intended to shoot down planes as well. Where do you get stuff to shoot down planes in New York of all places? I don’t remember seeing bazookas and so forth readily available there, so I suspect you have to order them out of a catalog or something.
-So now I’m stuck with this image in my head of the guy calling a weapons company customer service rep:
Rep: Thank you for holding sir, my name is Frances. May I help you?
Terrorist: Yes, um. I would like to order the M-950. Does it come in black?
Rep: No I’m sorry sir. It does not.
Terrorist: How about the A-75?
Rep: Well, yes we have the A-75 in black. But may I ask what you want to use it for?
Terrorist: Hunting.
Rep: You are hunting with an anti-aircraft weapon?
Terrorist: Let’s just say I don’t mess around with ducks and quail pal.
Rep: How big is the game?
Terrorist: About 900,000 pounds.
Rep: You don’t want to use an A-75. I would still go with the M-950.
Terrorist: Yeah, but those only come in pastels.
Rep: They're very popular in Hawaii.
Terrorist: What would shipping come out to?
Rep: We ship free of your order is for ten or more. You could take your friends hunting too.
Terrorist: Hmmm. Okay. But I want a tracking number when they ship. It’s really depressing when you are watching for the mailman everyday and he doesn’t have your stuff.
Rep: I understand completely. Are you ready to give your credit card information?
Terrorist: Uh yeah. It’s in this here purse. Hang on.
Rep: Purse?
Terrorist: I mean wallet. My wallet. Here it is. The card is a … VISA, and my name is Nancy Zimmerman. You know what? It was a purse after all. Nancy Zimmerman. I have a very deep voice for a woman. I hear that all the time.
Rep: Nancy, can I get you any ammunition?
Terrorist: Twenty cases.
Rep: Nancy if you order twenty-five cases, you get a free set of Franklin Mint Charlton Heston commemorative plates ...
[LOBO]
Regarding the still-emerging story about the local boys in New York who were thwarted by the FBI from destroying synagogues and planes, I’m just as intrigued as anyone else.
-But I can’t finish reading msnbc.com’s version (linked here); every time I get to the line in the story that asserts one of them “smoked marijuana the day the plot was to be carried out,” my brain just strokes off.
Am I the only one here impressed that guy even showed up? And why couldn’t he just eat frozen Snickers and play XBox like everyone else? Did he even have an Xbox?
Cripes, you can’t start a Holy War if you can’t get a damn Xbox -Osama would laugh at you and send you home with a note pinned to your shirt! And perhaps justly so; The FBI arranged for these guys to be given useless explosives ... the real Al Qaeda probably drug tests their members to ensure they don't try to detonate tapioca or, stricken with "the munchies," eat half the explosives before arriving at the target.
Anywho, as mentioned earlier, they intended to shoot down planes as well. Where do you get stuff to shoot down planes in New York of all places? I don’t remember seeing bazookas and so forth readily available there, so I suspect you have to order them out of a catalog or something.
-So now I’m stuck with this image in my head of the guy calling a weapons company customer service rep:
Rep: Thank you for holding sir, my name is Frances. May I help you?
Terrorist: Yes, um. I would like to order the M-950. Does it come in black?
Rep: No I’m sorry sir. It does not.
Terrorist: How about the A-75?
Rep: Well, yes we have the A-75 in black. But may I ask what you want to use it for?
Terrorist: Hunting.
Rep: You are hunting with an anti-aircraft weapon?
Terrorist: Let’s just say I don’t mess around with ducks and quail pal.
Rep: How big is the game?
Terrorist: About 900,000 pounds.
Rep: You don’t want to use an A-75. I would still go with the M-950.
Terrorist: Yeah, but those only come in pastels.
Rep: They're very popular in Hawaii.
Terrorist: What would shipping come out to?
Rep: We ship free of your order is for ten or more. You could take your friends hunting too.
Terrorist: Hmmm. Okay. But I want a tracking number when they ship. It’s really depressing when you are watching for the mailman everyday and he doesn’t have your stuff.
Rep: I understand completely. Are you ready to give your credit card information?
Terrorist: Uh yeah. It’s in this here purse. Hang on.
Rep: Purse?
Terrorist: I mean wallet. My wallet. Here it is. The card is a … VISA, and my name is Nancy Zimmerman. You know what? It was a purse after all. Nancy Zimmerman. I have a very deep voice for a woman. I hear that all the time.
Rep: Nancy, can I get you any ammunition?
Terrorist: Twenty cases.
Rep: Nancy if you order twenty-five cases, you get a free set of Franklin Mint Charlton Heston commemorative plates ...
Comments
If every terrorist had an Xbox, several pounds of marijuana, and plenty of snacks for their munchies..then they would be occupied with virtual violence, getting stoned, and getting fat..just like almost every citizen in the Free World.
They'd eventually forget all about carrying out violence in the real world. You sir are a genius. That is certainly Nobel Prize and Pulitzer Prize worthy.
And thank Gawd for the Patriot Act which catches such dangerous criminals!
Now what is the phone number for that arms dealer? I have several targets to eliminate and I want that free set of Franklin Mint Charlton Heston commemorative plates. Do those M-950's come in pink?
Ironic, isn't it?
Static: LOL! Osama could start a hemp farm and make tye-died burkas ...