The Westward Ho Bag
Predator Press
[LOBO]
Yes, it is true that Terri and I are indeed are headed to California.
I mentioned it before on this blog.
But I have also mentioned conspiring with space aliens for the overthrow of Humankind, indestructible fusion-powered robotic ex-girlfriends, and a dragon that plays spectacular Scrabble.
-If you weren’t taking me seriously then, I don’t think you people will take anything seriously.
I must say a tearful goodbye to my beloved Pianosa.
I will miss this place.
My initial reaction was what some people might call a bit selfish: If I can’t continue to enjoy Pianosa, why should anyone else?
I figured by nuking Pianosa to smithereens and starting Pianosa II in California, I would be doing everyone a favor.
-It is, after all, the most practical course of action. Instead of moving, I could just collect the insurance money and start all over with brand new stuff!
Unfortunately, some of my favorite people live in Pianosa I.
Bastards.
I would like to assure the following “former Pianosians” that they will not be burned to cinders:
1) Dantheinventoryman: Oh man, if anyone deserves to be burned to cinders, it’s you.
But I also intuitively know you would somehow survive the radioactive fallout and find us.
You are a map slut, and billions and billions of phone books would have to be recalled and reprinted to correct your reckless and wanton geographical infidelity.
Well I like trees, and I will have no part of this.
2) HST: I’ve been a member of the band Hot Sauce Tamales for over two years now. We do Red Hot Chili Peppers cover tunes backwards-masked with Satanic messages on six rubber bands stretched to varying lengths, an oscillating weed-whacker and a slide whistle.
Way ahead of our time.
We were far and away the most innovative music space-age polymers, a two-stroke engine, latex and Spandex could possibly provide.
The people just weren’t ready for us yet.
3) Ethan: Far and away the person I’ve least fantasized about killing with an ice pick. What am I going to do without my oldest, dearest friend and mentor?
[*sniff*] And what will I do with this ice pick?
Anywho, soon I’ll be engaged simultaneously in the three most hideous and horrible experiences ever known: moving, applying for jobs, and taking acting classes.
I'm taking acting classes are just in case I can't get any other type of work.
-But I sure hope Pianosa II has a Space Program.
[LOBO]
Yes, it is true that Terri and I are indeed are headed to California.
I mentioned it before on this blog.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjguEiFv4mCNLSh7K6kDt9wuF03aQZuLRl1DldQZ-SeX6ehsIDvVCXnIwiqMdZShImlBQe1J7vIMJmWUrOYY8IBPOQHEV6gI7aplTa53-HAN70Y5t0FW9O0oiVBfW_Lc4ipfDyRMw/s200-rw/TravelMedicineSuitcase.jpg)
-If you weren’t taking me seriously then, I don’t think you people will take anything seriously.
I must say a tearful goodbye to my beloved Pianosa.
I will miss this place.
My initial reaction was what some people might call a bit selfish: If I can’t continue to enjoy Pianosa, why should anyone else?
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVpxAMyLtApexS_2Ma3mC3qm9wfeXArhfrWGLB9tpXeilYfWqKb1HqsNPWsEkTor0YKJ1Skta3P6LW9QWTQrCtsDcHbFOfJED0dCDgtMbqs1nHP3neONWbv8w1HhotttEYEbAnJQ/s320-rw/Pianosa+I.jpg)
-It is, after all, the most practical course of action. Instead of moving, I could just collect the insurance money and start all over with brand new stuff!
Unfortunately, some of my favorite people live in Pianosa I.
Bastards.
I would like to assure the following “former Pianosians” that they will not be burned to cinders:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXntd2YQKvJTrDf0nSP74DpSQbgAxVRIErBf8LovY8o5jxwlv1g2__qFh299gIEHVELPChH71LS7O3gxUGdXhsCci0A9Hmi27kJu7AN5BaVW5ZfZ048chVLVyRpvrXzEbM5ayP_A/s320-rw/Pianosa+II.jpg)
But I also intuitively know you would somehow survive the radioactive fallout and find us.
You are a map slut, and billions and billions of phone books would have to be recalled and reprinted to correct your reckless and wanton geographical infidelity.
Well I like trees, and I will have no part of this.
2) HST: I’ve been a member of the band Hot Sauce Tamales for over two years now. We do Red Hot Chili Peppers cover tunes backwards-masked with Satanic messages on six rubber bands stretched to varying lengths, an oscillating weed-whacker and a slide whistle.
Way ahead of our time.
We were far and away the most innovative music space-age polymers, a two-stroke engine, latex and Spandex could possibly provide.
The people just weren’t ready for us yet.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_PcFwPQg9vCcBEngkGfPh2QtX6FHv2LpeAhqgzlcTMii8-CwlYyXIUJIqzApfrCA3A5UYCW8Vg-V3murfVB7d0uvQ4sXIAJisB7mHUmTlycwvX5pPnSlD5-XzUEQRusjR-vvVkg/s320-rw/rsz_2nasa2.jpg)
[*sniff*] And what will I do with this ice pick?
Anywho, soon I’ll be engaged simultaneously in the three most hideous and horrible experiences ever known: moving, applying for jobs, and taking acting classes.
I'm taking acting classes are just in case I can't get any other type of work.
-But I sure hope Pianosa II has a Space Program.
Comments
But, your Pianosa story sounds suspiciously like the history of the Mormon church.
Good luck in California!