The Awful Truth
Predator Press
[LOBO]
Well, I guess at this point I gotta do one of those rare "Personal Revelations".
Truth be told, I was born and raised Catholic. But soon it came out that I was a rich, white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant straight male; everyone else hated me already so there was just no point in pig- piling on further.
I spent time in Catholic school developing my God-given literary gifts, writing Haikus like:
"I once stabbed a kid
in algebra class.
He tried to add two radicals
that didn't share the same index.
What an asshole."
Turns out those fucking algebra pussies thought I was better suited for Geometry. But while the Geometry kid next to me prayed for World Peace, I prayed Angelina Jolie would break into Homeroom and try to assassinate me via busted pelvis.
World Peace. Hah! How boring. That kid's going to Hell.
... As for all you f**ks predicting "The End of the World" because of Iraq, New Orleans, and the return of Cathy Lee Gifford, I've got a little rule you might want to pay attention to:
NEVER PREDICT THE END OF THE WORLD
... If you're wrong, you look like a moron. And if you're right, who gives a shit? It's the end of the goddamn world, you asshole!
[LOBO]
Well, I guess at this point I gotta do one of those rare "Personal Revelations".
Truth be told, I was born and raised Catholic. But soon it came out that I was a rich, white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant straight male; everyone else hated me already so there was just no point in pig- piling on further.
I spent time in Catholic school developing my God-given literary gifts, writing Haikus like:
"I once stabbed a kid
in algebra class.
He tried to add two radicals
that didn't share the same index.
What an asshole."
Turns out those fucking algebra pussies thought I was better suited for Geometry. But while the Geometry kid next to me prayed for World Peace, I prayed Angelina Jolie would break into Homeroom and try to assassinate me via busted pelvis.
World Peace. Hah! How boring. That kid's going to Hell.
... As for all you f**ks predicting "The End of the World" because of Iraq, New Orleans, and the return of Cathy Lee Gifford, I've got a little rule you might want to pay attention to:
... If you're wrong, you look like a moron. And if you're right, who gives a shit? It's the end of the goddamn world, you asshole!
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