Larger than Life

Predator Press

[LOBO]

"What the hell is wrong with you?" demands my new boss, slamming the office door. "The whole damn building is complaining that you keep calling and paging."

"I'm having a little trouble dialing," I says.

"Well, get off your ass and go tell Maintenance to fix your phone!"

"I'm having trouble with the doorknob too," I says.

"Why are you sitting like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're hiding your hands."

Resigned, I sigh and set my hands on my desk. As I open them slowly, he gasps.

"Jesus Christ!" he says. "What happened?"

"Well, you know that new, eh, 'male enhancement' cream we sell?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it turns out it works."

"It made your hands freakishly large?"

"Well I hadda apply it somehow."

Spinning my phone around to face him, he presses the front desk button.

"Natalie?"

"Yes sir" she replies.

"Can you send Nurse Garrison to LOBO's office?"

"Um, she stammers. "Actually sir, that might be a bit of a problem. I'm having a little trouble dialing phones this morning."

"Natalie, why in the world would you use that cream?"

[muffled, soft sobs]

"No girl wants to be an A-cup forever sir."