[LOBO]
MILLIONS and millions of readers are always asking me everyday, ”LOBO, if I make a YouTube of me sticking my head in a deep fryer, will I get as many people to visit my blog as yours?”
Well I'm glad you asked me that.
The short answer is “Well, uh, yeah” -but the long answer is more of a philosophical and humanitarian discussion that doesn't smell very good at the conclusion.
In continued offensive olfactory irony, according to Google Analytics the most popular Predator Press post ever shockingly has nothing to do with farts either: Lee Majors Endorses $14.95 Bionic Ear -as a specific Google Search- has placed Number One since it's inception, and to this day has three times as many direct visitors than the distant second.
-On occasion people still comment on it.
But if you think I’ll let cold hard statistical fact I don't understand get in my way, you’re sadly mistaken: I think we should all be doing something entirely different.
As 'Bloggers,' I think we should start ending random sentences with “and then I started killing people.”
(I’m sensing some resistance here, but don’t puss out on me yet.)
I’m not sayin end every sentence with “and then I started killing people” ... just a light dusting will do. 'Less is More' in this case.
I submit this modified excerpt from an e e cummings poem for your consideration:
(and every fades)
is here and away
(but born are maids
to flower an hour
in all,all)
-and then I
started killing people
Long Live the Robots!
See that?
-And I totally improvised the 'Long Live the Robots' thing.
"How to Blog" series, click here.
17 comments:
I really could have used this nifty little "how to" about six months back. Woulda helped blog traffic and made ne feel much less angsty and agressive. An that unfortunate sock throwing incident in Marshalls would never have happened. . . .
It is incumbent upon us all to learn to use socks for good, never evil.
-Still it was at Marshall's .. I wouldn't beat myself up over it ...
but socks are evil, specially when the human balls them up and throws them at me 'just for fun' when im trying to eat.
oh, “And then I started killing people.”
haha! Perfect! :)
This WILL, and I reiterate WILL show up somewhere in my next blog post. Oh, yes. Let the killing begin...
If there was one problem I had with classical literature and poetry it was the distinct lack of robots. You sir have reignited my passion!
Hahaha. Genius! Except now I have to find my own variation of "and then I started killing people" to end my sentences. I can't be a copy cat.
Lobo-- I seed your name occasionally over the years (most likely in Diesel's stuff) but I never stopped by... my loss. You've got a lot of plagiarization potential here. Mind if I steal Jason's comment? I've got a dozen or so sites I'd like to post it on, and I'll give you credit.
Have at it ... I'm jazzed. I read your comment on Bionic Ear whatzit, and had already added you to both the 'Petit Mal' an the 'Grand Mal.'
Welcome Tacky Raccoons!!!!
(Ah crap, that shoulda been a link too)
I've got the comments all out of order. Well first lemmee do my "Tacky Racoons" trick:
Ta Da!
Okie, now:
Jamie: I've been watching closely, and the death toll on your blog in teeny-weenie. You gotta ratchet it up to "infected splinters."
Alex: Jamie is already spreading infected splinters. Tell this "Hemmingway" jagoff he can kiss my ass: I’ll handle the “classical literature and poetry” in the meantime.
otherworldlyone: You could try “-but the catheter was too jagged and rusty to remove in one swift pull.”
Jason: You site looks like it will be fun ... I'll keep an eye on it.
LOBO...I read this most excellent post and I was extraordinarily inspired to sit down and write the greatest, most poetic post that has ever been posted to stickmanmusings.com blog. And then I pooped my pants. (TM)
Dear LOBO ....
I always code my own posts because I think the WYSIWYG editor is for the weak and un-informed. Lately I find myself being lazy, and sometimes NOT EVEN ADDING alt test. Should I give in to temptation and just use bloggers "COMPOSE" tab? Would that be wrong and lazy?
Confused in Hollydale,
S. Hollydale
test = TEXT
.... see! I do not even proof read anymore.
ehhhhh
LOBO-- fwiw... Looks like Jason doesn't give credit for the posts he lifts, and he's canvassing Blogger sites. I, on the other hand, am entirely bitchin'.
Stickman: It's hard to kill people with poopy pants. They smell you coming.
Speedy: In order to assist, I'll need some clarification.
-For starters, what does "Dear" mean?
Bunk Struts: I can't figure out what you mean here; I frequent your site and popped into Jason's here and there ... I can't seem to lock into what you mean.
(Have you been drinking with Speedy? heehee)
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