[LOBO]

“Excuse me?” asks a muffled voice from outside.
Sensing the kid’s alarm, I approach. “Who is it?”
“You gotta see this,” he replies, face pressed against the door. “It’s either Jean-Luc Pickard or Locutus.”
“Jesus,” I breathe. “What the hell is he selling?”
The kid steps down and moves the chair. “I don’t know yet.”
I open the door. “Can I help you?”
“Hello,” says the well-dressed man. “My name is James Carville.”
Butterbean and I stare.
“The lead strategist for the Clinton presidential campaign?” he adds helpfully.
I scowl. “You’ve got the wrong house. There’s nobody here named ‘Clinton.’ And do you have any idea what time it is?”
He looks at his watch. “10:30 in the morning?”
“I better get some free ice cream for dragging me out of bed like this,” I says.

“No Fudgie the Whale, no dice,” I insist. “Besides, you should probably know I’m a registered republican and libertarian too. I like being on the winning team.”
Butterbean whistles. “You can screw everything up and get 18 billion in bonuses?” He looks at me. “You’re in the wrong business.”
“Shut up,” I says.
“Look,” says Carville. “We’re on the precipice of major change. This year saw America elect it’s first African-American president, and-“
“We have a black president?” I says. “Is it Tupoc?”
There’s and uncomfortable silence.
“No,” Carville says finally.
“Can you teach me the Vulcan Nerve Pinch?” asks Butterbean.
“You’re thinking of Leonard Nimoy,” replies Carville.

“Uh-huh,” Butterbean agrees. “Plus he would’ve stayed out of those tanning beds.”
“Seriously!” I says. “Carville you look fifty years older since The Lord of the Rings. You know there’s spray-on stuff now that doesn’t turn your skin into melted leather.”
“Will you shoot an arrow off of my head?” asks Butterbean.
“No I will not shoot an arrow off of your head,” replies Carville. “You’re thinking of Orlando Bloom.”

“That’s Sinead O'Connor,” corrects Carville.
“Pulp Fiction?” I offer.
“Bruce Willis,” says Carville.
"The Transporter?" asks Butterbean.
"Grant Latham," replies Carville.

"That's Vin Diesel," says Carville. “Are you guys just going to bark out a bunch of random bald celebrities now in an effort to figure out who I am rather than discussing government policy?”
“Probably," I says. "Why?"
8 comments:
Are ya sure he wasn't the guy that played Nelix on Voyager?
Tupac isn't president? That's outrageous! I mean, I voted for Bigge Smalls, but still ...
Love your site. If we bring you a Fudgie the Whale, will you make fun of us?
"Never send a Hobbit to do an Elf's job."
Legolas Greenleaf
I can't believe Paul Schaffer came to your door.
this can't be right, Tupac is definitely president.
That's the guy that played the doctor on Voyager and the president's from Africa? Huh? I don't get it.
i think Carville looks more like the dude who played Charlotte's husband on Sex and the City (dont ask me how, or why, I know that)
harris
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