The House -and Heart- Broken

Predator Press

[LOBO]

Succumbing to the virulent torrent of angry mail from ardent (and reputedly very dangerous) Doctor Who fans, I decided to rename my robot assassin puppy ‘Scraps.'

-But even while welding his rabies tags and registration on, I knew I had a problem.

I guess when it all came down I just couldn't send Scraps to burrow his way into the succulent and still-beating hearts of my insurance agents, finally detonating himself in their steaming squirty entrails once their screams were successfully converted to mp3 and transmitted to my iPod.

-Scraps, a loyal companion, deserves better than that.

On the outskirts of town, there's a big sprawling farm that raises the robot sheep we get steel wool from: it's a place where Scraps won’t be painfully discriminated against by inbred hoity-toity big city ‘meatdogs.'

I’ve decided to send him there where he can assassinate wild and free, just like nature intended.

I'll miss him.

-He’s the best friend I ever had.

[*sniff*]



Comments

Alex L said…
I'm sure he's frolicing about enjoying the open air and lasering things with gay abandon.
Anonymous said…
I was wrong to mislead you! Send him after those insurance bastards asap!
Sher said…
It takes a big person...to send something they love...to a better life than they can give.

You've done well. I applaud you. I'm also very sorry for your loss.

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