People Are So CUTE With Their Lil "Votes"

Predator Press

[LOBO]

I find it hard to believe our Founding Fathers wanted this fantastic idea of “Democracy” to be bogged down with non-violent “debating” and the excruciatingly-long and unperfected process of “voting."

We need to strip away all the years of excess baggage we’ve added to this concept and boil Democracy back down into it’s purest and simplest form:

-The Cage Match.

Now I would “debate” Don Lewis myself, but I’m currently experiencing a nasty yeast infection. Despite my protests, the doctors have flatly benched me from any cage match debates for an indefinite period.

Suggestions of a “stunt debater” to take my place have all had a rather lukewarm reception from Don Lewis’ camp; despite the slightly inferior physical specimen provided, they still appear reluctant to seize upon the concession.

Alternatives appeared to be drying up rather quickly, so I put together a spectacular Pay-Per-View Texas Electric Razorwire Bullwhip Lumberjack Deathcage debate between John Nobody and Don Lewis, whereas I would referee and ensure fair "down the middle" calls and watch for cheating, et cetera.

-Again, Don's camp whined. "No LOBO I don't wanna debate in salted, broken glass," and "Boo-hoo! A lava-filled moat that spews flammable oil, jets of flame, searing acid and pissed-off starving alligators is too dangerous!"

Pansies.

-And I may never get the fine folks at Hasbro back as a sponsor with this wishy-washy campaigning.

Why is the Lewis camp making this so difficult for me? You can’t even see John Nobody. Don Lewis –100% perfectly visible in the human spectrum- has a clear and significant advantage for paramedics to find his remains!

To mitigate this, I submit that John Nobody should be allowed to bring a lightweight fully-fueled well-oiled STIHL chainsaw with no less than an 18-inch bar -ideally suited for general electoral dismemberment- to any function that requires the two appear together.

-Don in turn will get an equally-deadly icky plastic mellon baller I found in the backyard with the serrated edges worn down by dogs chewing on it for the last six months or so.

Democracy has become such an unsanitary pain in the ass nowadays, I don’t know why we bother.

Blech!



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