[LOBO]
In order to demonstrate that I haven't "lost touch" due to my lucrative blogging career, I’ve decided to create a new series of posts celebrating the “Common Man.”This is where the entourage and I momentarily leave the protective womb of my vast and exceedingly deadly compound, and we go to a 7-11 or a Shell gas station to briefly speak to the inconsequential little people that make this country tick.
Who is this intriguing person running my credit card for Funyuns really?
One never knows.
-It could be a fascinating astronaut or neurosurgeon!
Subject Name: Margret RosenthalAKA: "Margie"
Occupation: Cashier/International Double Agent
Obvious Deficiencies: Lazy
Not-So-Obvious Deficiencies: Laziness due to sore feet. Margret spent last night ballroom dancing with Dick Cheney in stiletto heels a size too small. This consequently caused her toes squish out like tiny fat little horrifying sausages, and blew the last dwindling hope of Archduke Karl Ludwig getting the plans to America's new superconductor.
Hobbies: Mopping, Ringing Up Funyuns
Turn Ons: Long Walks On The Beach, Superconductors
Turn Offs: Gets pissed off if you repeatedly open the glass door (triggering the customer alert bell) and then hide behind the payphone
Weapon Proficiency: Apron (strangulation)Secondary Specialty: Tossing apron into motorcycle chain causing attackers to wreck, impaling themselves on their own AK-47s
Special Notes: Don’t attack the bitch with AK-47, motorcycle
Secrets: In her purse I found tampons, pictures of grandkids, Dick Cheney's Blackberry, mircofilm of her doing Dick Cheney on a superconductor, and a cherry-flavored Gingivitis spray.
6 comments:
I think we had sex together once. She refused to take the apron off and now I know why...just in case.
I once bought a pack of gum with my credit card. Stores hate that, but I bet Margie wouldn't mind.
Don't let her fool you. Tampons are also a very good weapon. You won't believe how many men can be held at bay with just one tiny tampon! She may be lazy, but she's clever.
Wow! In my fantasy life, I'm a double-agent or at least an agent. Maybe I would be pretty good because who would believe it?
Maybe I should look up to Margie!
I have been looking for this woman all my life.
You have her number??
... ohh, just read "Don's" comment.
Nevermind
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