No Mammograms Were Conducted During the Making of this Post

Predator Press

[LOBO]

Not to be outdone by the rash of recent mammogram popularity across the Humor-Blogs spectrum, I was faced with either of two options: get implants myself, or simply get as close to the action as possible in order to speak knowingly on the subject.

Since the former would have required me to buy all new t-shirts, I opted for the latter; hence, I mortgaged the house and bought the Mamm-O-Van.

I can't wait to surprise Terri with this –perhaps my most noble and holistic contribution in Public Service ever. ‘Gal on the Go’ between meetings? Don't sweat it. Can’t drive all the way to the doctor’s office? I've got you covered. HMO? No problem!

-These poor women deserve fair and equitable medical services too.

Comments

Meg said…
Is there anything interesting in that van to help with the exam pain?
LOBO said…
Daiquiris and Fuzzy Navels!

($4)
Anonymous said…
I don't know how LOBO's belly button is supposed to help.

The daiquiri should help though.
Simon Jester said…
"If this vans a'rockin...
I may have too much pressure on the clamps."
Anonymous said…
Cool Van :)
Anonymous said…
As long as you're keeping your new medical enthusiasms "above the equator", I'm sure you won't have to serve much time.
Unknown said…
Well thank God for such public servicey people like you. Do we at least get a complimentary Tootsie Pop at the end? (Whatever THAT means)
Donnie said…
Only a boob would do this for a living!
Kirsten said…
Thanks for making the world a better place! One question: Does insurance cover at least the first fuzzy navel?
Deb said…
Only fuzzy navels and daiquiris? Anything with bubbles? Gotta have bubbles.

Will you play music like the ice cream truck when you're in the neighborhood? Tooters for the hooters!
Anonymous said…
I call that thoughtful.
LOBO said…
Jinksy: Me neither.

... I have an "inny".

Don Lewis: Yes, it occurs to me a stick-shift transmission would be a bad idea too.

Revenue: Want to buy it? :)

Dr Tundra: From one medical practitioner to another, I assure you my credentials are just as good as yours.

Margaret: I cannot properly reply to that comment and retain my coveted PG rating.

Don: That would require a lot of slippery oils, and I don't have a HAZMAT license yet.

Kristen: No. But once you reach your "out-of-pocket", they're all free.

Deb: I had planned to do that, but with Barry White records.

Chris: That's me. I'm a "giver" ...

:)
Fanton said…
I imagine one would feel a right tit in this van.

And a left one, to boot.
LOBO said…
You know, we'll need other shifts to provide 24 hour service. Lots of overtime.

You in?
Dan said…
I hear Cristina Appelgate is getting a boob job.
Bee said…
Um... I'm concerned about the sanitary conditions. I don't want somebody's booby hands on my daiquiris.
Hmm, if I go to get tacos and find this parked in Jesus's spot I am not going to be a happy camper!

I mean, I let him feel me up but only for extra jalepenos!!
Rickey said…
ahhhh Rickey thought you were joking about the windowless van. How sadly mistaken Rickey was. God help us all.
Anonymous said…
Are you giving women a Jiffy Boob and Lube Job to eliminate the discomfort of mammograms?

Lobo's mammogram marketing slogan:
With Lobo's 'Gal on the Go' Mamm-O-Van, one shot of Lobo Lidocaine will relieve the pain of breast compression...

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