How to be #1 on Humor-Blogs.com

Predator Press

[LOBO]

Now that I have verifiably been #1 on Humor-Blogs, I feel I am qualified to lecture comprehensively on the subject.

And for the low, low price of $679 I totally will!*

With my 64 DVD series of lectures, you will learn top #1 Humor-Blogger secrets like:

Tip #4: "Cook 'Minute Rice' for 2 minutes and 54 seconds: it resets 'Humor-Blogs' to zero. But be sure your fire extinguisher is fully charged, and keep a list of phone numbers including the Fire Department and restaurants that deliver handy," and

Tip #454: “CDs 51-64 are actually blank. Use them to record your favorite music and drown out the family bitching about your blogging,” and

Tip #73: "Switching your feed tube and catheter bucket is a great timesaver, but can eventually cause anemia. Eat a banana every few days to avoid Rickets."

Act now, and I'll not only provide free shipping, but I'll throw in a free tube of antibiotic ointment guaranteed to cure butt bedsores 1.6 times faster than exercise!*

But wait*! There's More*! The first 100 buyers will receive a copy of Diesel's Antisocial Commentary: The Secret Files of the Mattress Police at a discounted price of $156! *

* This is a limited-time offer.

* "How to be #1 on Humor-Blogs" may cause nausea, temporary blindness, and explosive discharge of the left kidney.

* No assembly is required.

* 16 animals were beaten into a chalky paste during the making of this post. But it was in order to perfect my #1 on Humor-Blogs.com Barbeque Sauce so I'm cool with it.