The Astronaut Whisperer

Predator Press

[LOBO]

After being struck by a landing space shuttle, Air Traffic Controller Dirk Elway’s life is completely transformed; sunken into a bleak and menthol fog of Nyquil and Altoids addiction, even his goldfish have run away.

Similarly, one of the surviving astronauts on board that very same space shuttle goes crazy, buys a box of Depends, and rides across the country –ultimately killing everyone in Twentynine Palms California with a rake.

On a hunch, Clint Eastwood –a world-renown Astronaut Whisperer- gambles that Dirk and The Astronaut’s spree are somehow linked.

Armed with nothing but a 32 oz jar of Tang and a walkie-talkie, Clint manages to finally make contact, culling the rogue Astronaut and reuniting him with ailing Dirk … but soon thereafter Dirk is mysteriously killed by an overdose of rake to the back of the skull.

Can Clint teach him to laugh and love again? Will The Astronaut once again claim his coveted spot in the London Symphony Orchestra? And can his lowly new job testing 747 engines by tossing live seagulls into them let him rise once again to his once-lofty astronaut status?

-Only time and a ragtag group of Baptist church choir enthusiasts can tell.

We here at Predator Press give The Astronaut Whisperer, like, ten big thumbs up: this is the surprisingly engaging tale of an astronaut beset by tragedy and a love for gardening, and Clint's dogged and relentless efforts to repair his broken and battered spirit.

Scheduled for release this summer, it’s an uplifting, fun and romantic little film that’s a must-see for the whole family.

Nicolas Cage is not in this movie.

Comments

Meg said…
I just want to know, like, how 'hot' is this astronaut dude?
Anonymous said…
If you can get Julia Roberts as the rakish astronaut, Bruce Willis as the altoid, and PeeWee Herman as the Astronaut Whisperer, The Skwib Productions will be ready to sign.
LOBO said…
To both.

One word.

Chuck Norris
I already caught the bootleg version of this and cannot WAIT for the sequel!
Bee said…
LOBO, who am I to question the mastery of your masterness but um, how is the HORSE able to breathe??

I want to see this movie but not if there is animal breathing torture in it.
(:'o{
LOBO said…
Have none of you faith in Chuck Norris?

[*sigh*]
Bee said…
To quote Don, it's a funny thing, I came to comment on a post that isn't here.

BRAVO!

You have outdone yourself in sneakiness.

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