Black in Back

Predator Press

[LOBO]

According to Wikipedia, there are 6.65 billion people on earth.

And Chelle B. -the Offended Blogger- wants to eliminate around 97% of them.

Now I'm no calculatron, but that doesn't leave very many: the number that would survive -give or take a few hundred thousand- is "5".

(Well, the actual answer comes up as "watery soup", which unintentionally proves Don's Malthusian theories on Global Eating -but don't tell him; if he ever found out he was right about anything, he'd be twice as unbearable.)

So the bad news is not many of you will live.

But the good news is I've made the rest of us banners!








***


For my last post, I tried disguising Predator Press as .45 Caliber Headspace in order to hide from the scurrilous cast of bloggers involved in The Comma Caper. But what started as a joke developed into what just might be a permanent "facelift".

So now I figure, Why stop there?.

I wanna redo everything, and the banner is the first thing to go.

This was my first banner effort:







Meh.

If you're ever bored enough, you can read the fantastic epic saga of how I came up with my original banner here.

Please don't ever be that bored.

Suicide is always an option.

I mean it's straightforward enough, but it lacked drama. "Zazz" if you will. It's just not something that leaps out at you, you know?

So then I came up with this:








-but big words like "obtrusive" and "monstrosity" kept surfacing.

So then I made this:








But rather than getting new readers, I just got a bunch of nefarious job offers.

Ultimately, I decided on this:



DON'T CLICK THIS


Wait.

What’s with that look?

-Why does everyone wince like that?


While hunting wayward grammas, I frequently
disguise myself as The Cult of Qelqoth.


Comments

I vote for the green one ...
Bee said…
I was going to proudly put the green one on my blog but my hubs says he has an issue with the word "sexy".
He's not saying you're not, he just doesn't like words that rhyme with "Rexy".
Anonymous said…
I'll also be a survivor of the forthcoming Offend-O-Caust.

Sure, I'll be disguised as Predator Press but you gotta do what you can in this blog-eat-blog world.

;)
Your scrivelings ...inimitable. Good joss!! As for you banner conundrum, I recommend detachment, divorce and severance from popular opinion. Follow your heart, dear lobo, and where it leads you.

BTW ...your site smells vaguely of lavender. Was that your intention?

KWA
Anonymous said…
"BTW ...your site smells vaguely of lavender."

According to The Offended Blogger, Lobo has secretly been thinking of ballet. Which curiously enough, may explain the strange homely fragrance. ;)
Brent Diggs said…
Be sure to mention to grandma that you have been tagged with a hideous and possibly permanently scarring meme. She might bake you cookies.
Matt said…
With the 97% of the world gone, the ones left over will be able to do nothing but have constant sex with multiple partners in order to repopulate the planet.
Simon Jester said…
OK, I put your "banner" up at my place. I assume I'll lose about 5 visitors a day as a result. (That's like 50% of my readership you blackmailer!)

Now quit sticking my face on Nazi memorabilia. I'm getting calls from Jewish Defense League! And Hamas wants Ad space!
In the spirit of prescriptive linguistics the FSRI would like to extend its gratitude to you, dear Lobo. Words are an endangered currency in this day and age, and any misuse or misrepresentation should be identified and quickly severed at its root.

To be honest, our company computer system was compromised last night (notice the time-stamp.) No one was at our main office at that time - other than the hundreds of security personnel who man our towers and walk perimeter shifts during the night. The comment made on your site originated from a server in Lisbon - with your help we have notified the Portuguese authorities, Interpol and the FCC.

Once again, thank you Lobo for your vigilance and your attention to the needs of fellow bloggers. It takes a blogging community to survive these days. It's good to see an old friend stand by you through thick and thin.

Good luck with your scrivelings, and take care.

KWA
Anonymous said…
This Predator Press sounds like just the ticket. I've had my fill of jagged catheters, and then some.
Chelle Blögger said…
How did I miss this?! Oh yeah, when I came to see it that day, you had taken it down for some reason. :)

I am adding the Offend-o-caust to my side bar.

That is my favorite, obviously.

Popular Posts