MORE BRIANS!

Predator Press

[LOBO]

Having dedicated myself to becoming the world's foremost authority on the human brain, I decided I had better "Google" it.

One of the little-known secrets of my outrageous success is my speed reading technique: I can read about 600 pages an hour. So -at a blistering pace- within two hours I knew everything there is to know about Brain De Palma, Brain Wilson, and the loyal and erudite Family Guy dog, Brain Griffin.

I must admit I'm not 100% on how all this interconnects; I mean what do all those guys have in common with the control center of the central nervous system?

But see that's how science works. It's sneaky like that. Christopher Columbus didn't set out to find America. Stephen Hawking didn't set out to discover space. And who knew that while running a radioactive brothel, Madame Curie would come up with all those cures?

But now that I have dedicated my weekend to the pursuit of science, I need to take a breather from it lest I fall prey to her seductive powers; as a deeply religious man, I know how this goes: one minute you're studying some elegant geometry, and the next they are raiding your Texas compound and accusing you of polygamy -the pagan worship of polygons.

God hates science.