[LOBO]Imagine my surprise when I found out.
My first tip off -well, my only tip off- was seeing this article in the Clay Pigeon.
Damn that looks familiar I thought.
And sure enough after scouring the Predator Press archives, I found it.
At first I was mad. And for a lot of reasons ... I mean Ed Harris is a great actor, sure ... but he's no LOBO. Does he really share my loathe for Hittites? Or was Ed merely trying to ride the coattails of my fame, wealth and notoriety?
-Maybe he was trying to topple the entire Predator Press Empire!
That couldn't be it. He would have to be totally crackers to attempt something so foolhardy.
Wouldn't he?
As the principles of Ockham's Razor cast doubt upon my initial state of denial, a wide spectrum of emotion finally settles at acceptance. The evidence is pretty clear: Ed Harris [Parcher] plagues Russell Crowe's [John Nash] sanity for a full two hours in 'A Beautiful Mind'. He's certainly got the 'chops' to be my alternate personality.
"Surely not LOBO," you say. "John Nash was crazy. You are the sanest -and possibly the most handsome and brilliantest- individual on Earth!"
But who am I to argue? Hey, there's nothing funny about comedy pal: maybe Predator Press did get nominated for four Oscars, Two Saturns, and win the Critic's Choice award in 1996. I certainly don't remember forgetting doing it.
Do you?
The evidence that finally clinched it for me was the caption on the Clay Pigeon story: it says very clearly, "Ed Harris has played a lot of astronauts."
Heck, I spent weeks getting kicked off of the Space Program!Maybe it's not so bad being Ed Harris (as long as he doesn't touch any of my stuff). I mean it could have been Nicole Richie.
But it could just have easily have been Brad Pitt. I mean why not Brad Pitt? You know, the pre-Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt, before they adopted like 57 kids? Ah god, can you imagine what that place must be like now? Trust me: as a proud parent, you can feed 'em two or three times a week and it's still all bitch, bitch, bitch -I don't care how much you beat them. And hello: Angelina Jolie? What's with all the adopting? Does Brad have E.D.?
Wait ... "ED"?
Oh my God I think I just snapped the Space-Time Continuum.
8 comments:
Dude, you gotta be careful. You can't just go posting your Social Security Number in public like that. People will steal it and order thousands of Ronco products in your name, and you won't even get one apple/peeler/corer/slicer out of the deal.
That is an extremely convincing form. You were THAT close to being an astranot.
I thought I heard the Space-Time continuum snap. When it did, I knew to head straight to Predator Press. Your NASA "ASTRANOT" form looks like it might not be legit. Better check that out.
Well at least with the later Pitt manifestation you get Angelina.
I suppose there's something in that.
Except if its really ED. Hmm... I'll have to get back to you.
I don't think it's only the space-time continuum that's snapped.
Oh yeah.
I get the feeling that if I stare at that NASA application long enough, I'll decipher your code.
I know I can do it! I just need more pistachios!
I thought that was you I saw at Cape Kennedy a few years ago...only you looked shorter then...I hear Brad is lined up for a Cialis commercial...:))
I can see why you'd prefer being Brad Pitt, especially when comparing his Angelina Jolie Poppins to Ed Harris's Amy Madigan McPhee
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