The Artichoke Debacle
Predator Press
[LOBO]
On February 20, 2007 LadyTerri and I screened Danger Couch and the Tinsel of Doom.
A review seemed appropriate.
Unfortunately, the household was wracked with Strep and flu, and this brought Predator Press screaming to a temporary halt.
Very unfortunate.
There was much to write about.
This was the day that Don Lewis had bestowed upon us the Quality Original Humor Award. The 'regular' news was fantastic blog fodder as well ... it was the day before the US Navy would miss the spy satellite they were trying to shoot down and accidentally 'liberated' the head off of the Statue of Liberty.
Did the following Navy cover-up get mentioned in your much-lauded "Wall Street Journal"? No. And CNN and MSNBC ran with our glaring absence, writing puff-pieces on John McCain and wars and stuff.
Those other so-called "news" sources are so completely devoid of any credibility, at first I was suspicious that the Navy wasn't trying to shoot down my spy satellite! Luckily, my spy satellite is busy in another hemisphere spying on Brent's satellite, which is busy spying on-
-Hey, wait a minute. Do I really look that fat on camera?
Why all this redundant criss-crossing double super secret agent stuff? Because Brent is just that evil. He steals my ideas before I even have them!
While a lot of you think Danger Couch and the Tinsel of Doom was his idea, you're utterly mistaken: this is a common misconception as he wrote, directed, appeared in, filmed and promoted it.
Therefore I forgive many of you: it's easy to not associate me with work I didn't write, direct, appear in, film or promote. You would think that I would've learned my lesson with that whole 'Citizen Kane' debacle ... but I don't not do it for the glory or the money; I don't do it because I love art.
And how do we really know I didn't write, direct, appear in, film or promote Danger Couch and the Tinsel of Doom? With my attention span, for all I know I did. Couldn't he have CGI-ed over all my appearances? Copied my music? Replicated my Oscar-worthy performances? Despite LadyTerri's assurances to the contrary, I'm not convinced: I find it difficult to believe that I wasn't involved in such a fun, raucous ride of comedy and music. I loved it, LadyTerri loved it, the kids loved it. It's brilliant. Clearly this has all the earmarks of my own work!
Perhaps the most dastardly move of all is that Brent is undercutting my suggested retail price of $8,406 per copy. I calculated this out on excruciatingly long Excel spreadsheets, and this had me barely breaking even after materials, postage, copyright infringement lawsuits, and the mandatory Spy Satellite Tax. But he is selling the same DVD for $15!!!. Can you believe that jerk? The madman is obviously operating at a staggering loss, hoping to strike a blow to the vast Predator Press empire.
The choice is clear: every copy you by from me means a triumph for Humankind ... every copy you buy from him only further drains his coffers.
Come to think of it, screw humankind. Stick it to Brent. Buy numerous copies, and give them away for belated Inappropriate Card Day gifts in defiance.
Meanwhile, I'm working on a sequel to Tinsel. It's called Rise of the Futon.
And it better be good, or I'll totally kill Brent.
[LOBO]
On February 20, 2007 LadyTerri and I screened Danger Couch and the Tinsel of Doom.A review seemed appropriate.
Unfortunately, the household was wracked with Strep and flu, and this brought Predator Press screaming to a temporary halt.
Very unfortunate.
There was much to write about.
This was the day that Don Lewis had bestowed upon us the Quality Original Humor Award. The 'regular' news was fantastic blog fodder as well ... it was the day before the US Navy would miss the spy satellite they were trying to shoot down and accidentally 'liberated' the head off of the Statue of Liberty.
Did the following Navy cover-up get mentioned in your much-lauded "Wall Street Journal"? No. And CNN and MSNBC ran with our glaring absence, writing puff-pieces on John McCain and wars and stuff.
Those other so-called "news" sources are so completely devoid of any credibility, at first I was suspicious that the Navy wasn't trying to shoot down my spy satellite! Luckily, my spy satellite is busy in another hemisphere spying on Brent's satellite, which is busy spying on-
-Hey, wait a minute. Do I really look that fat on camera?
Why all this redundant criss-crossing double super secret agent stuff? Because Brent is just that evil. He steals my ideas before I even have them!While a lot of you think Danger Couch and the Tinsel of Doom was his idea, you're utterly mistaken: this is a common misconception as he wrote, directed, appeared in, filmed and promoted it.
Therefore I forgive many of you: it's easy to not associate me with work I didn't write, direct, appear in, film or promote. You would think that I would've learned my lesson with that whole 'Citizen Kane' debacle ... but I don't not do it for the glory or the money; I don't do it because I love art.
And how do we really know I didn't write, direct, appear in, film or promote Danger Couch and the Tinsel of Doom? With my attention span, for all I know I did. Couldn't he have CGI-ed over all my appearances? Copied my music? Replicated my Oscar-worthy performances? Despite LadyTerri's assurances to the contrary, I'm not convinced: I find it difficult to believe that I wasn't involved in such a fun, raucous ride of comedy and music. I loved it, LadyTerri loved it, the kids loved it. It's brilliant. Clearly this has all the earmarks of my own work!Perhaps the most dastardly move of all is that Brent is undercutting my suggested retail price of $8,406 per copy. I calculated this out on excruciatingly long Excel spreadsheets, and this had me barely breaking even after materials, postage, copyright infringement lawsuits, and the mandatory Spy Satellite Tax. But he is selling the same DVD for $15!!!. Can you believe that jerk? The madman is obviously operating at a staggering loss, hoping to strike a blow to the vast Predator Press empire.
The choice is clear: every copy you by from me means a triumph for Humankind ... every copy you buy from him only further drains his coffers.
Come to think of it, screw humankind. Stick it to Brent. Buy numerous copies, and give them away for belated Inappropriate Card Day gifts in defiance.
Meanwhile, I'm working on a sequel to Tinsel. It's called Rise of the Futon.
And it better be good, or I'll totally kill Brent.
Comments
If have any troublesome children, I still have a couple of those zombie Christmas trees available to "manage" them.