Predator Press
[Mr Insanity]
“Is it addictive?” asks the President of the Food and Drug Administration over the speaker.
“Not at all,” replies Ethan. “OxyCaine lodges itself in the pleasure center of the brain and, eh, 'improves the efficiency the circuitry’ if you will, on a completely permanent basis. Who would want to increase dosage for that?”
“Are there any side effects?”.
“No, no,” Ethan says into the speakerphone. “Other than feeling and acting like a pretentious ass all the time, an intense enormous 24-7 erection and losing ten pounds a month like it or not, there are no side effects whatsoever.”
There’s a brief silence.
Then finally, “Um, can I get some samples before I make my decision?”
Saturday
Predator Press Interviews: Sheriff Lee Baca
Predator Press
LOBO: So you're the heroic cop that vainly tried to free our beloved Princess?
Baca: No, I'm not.
LOBO: You're not Sheriff Lee Baca?
Baca: Uh-uh.
LOBO: Hm. That's weird. You do look familiar though. Hey, aren't you that shaved Wookie that sold me that crappy Timeshare on Kashyyyk?
Baca: Nope. But for your information, throughout history the Timeshare has repeatedly demonstrated startling gains in equity.
LOBO: It was on a volcano.
Baca: I'll bet the view was spectacular.
LOBO: I hadda flush the toilet water every thirty minutes to keep it from boiling.
Baca: Look, I'm a Sheriff in Los Angeles. I can't just drop everything and fly to Kashyyyk every time a tenant has a plumbing issue.
LOBO: I thought you said you weren't Sheriff Lee Baca.
Baca: No I didn't.
LOBO: Ever heard of OxyCaine?
Baca: Nope. And it's absolutely legal to sell it to kids until I do.
LOBO: So what motivated you to free Paris?
Baca: I thought she was hot.
LOBO: So Sheriff, you're admitting on Predator Press that you that tend to pull people over in an effort to get dates?
Baca: Why are you calling me Sheriff?
LOBO: Ah, hm. Well, you got any interests or hobbies?
Baca: Well, I do occasionally umpire for Little League baseball. It's in my contract with Gillette.
LOBO: So you're the heroic cop that vainly tried to free our beloved Princess?Baca: No, I'm not.
LOBO: You're not Sheriff Lee Baca?
Baca: Uh-uh.
LOBO: Hm. That's weird. You do look familiar though. Hey, aren't you that shaved Wookie that sold me that crappy Timeshare on Kashyyyk?
Baca: Nope. But for your information, throughout history the Timeshare has repeatedly demonstrated startling gains in equity.
LOBO: It was on a volcano.
Baca: I'll bet the view was spectacular.
LOBO: I hadda flush the toilet water every thirty minutes to keep it from boiling.
Baca: Look, I'm a Sheriff in Los Angeles. I can't just drop everything and fly to Kashyyyk every time a tenant has a plumbing issue.
LOBO: I thought you said you weren't Sheriff Lee Baca.
Baca: No I didn't.
LOBO: Ever heard of OxyCaine?
Baca: Nope. And it's absolutely legal to sell it to kids until I do.
LOBO: So what motivated you to free Paris?
Baca: I thought she was hot.
LOBO: So Sheriff, you're admitting on Predator Press that you that tend to pull people over in an effort to get dates?
Baca: Why are you calling me Sheriff?
LOBO: Ah, hm. Well, you got any interests or hobbies?
Baca: Well, I do occasionally umpire for Little League baseball. It's in my contract with Gillette.
Friday
My God
Predator Press
[LOBO]
What are you people, savages?
Just look at this poor woman, America's Princess, weeping and screaming as they illegally haul her to jail once again.
I must say I am shocked and appalled.
After all she's been through, it's right back into 'The Clink'? While scrawling out her own adorable little version of Mein Kampf, she will most certainly waste away like a petite flower denied sunshine and water! When I heard her pleading to her mother 'It's not right!', my heart just broke.
Speaking of Paris' mom, I can only imagine how awful this must be to endure. If it will at all ease her suffering, I'm publicly offering myself up for adoption to her for the duration. Nothing weird -I'm not wearing Paris' clothes or anything-but if Paris' mom needs the companionship provided by your offspring laying siege upon your refrigerator and always trying to borrow money, it seems the least I can do for a couple of weeks.
And think about it for a second: Paris will come out with an older brother to look up to!
We're with you, Paris' mom!
[LOBO]
What are you people, savages?Just look at this poor woman, America's Princess, weeping and screaming as they illegally haul her to jail once again.
I must say I am shocked and appalled.
After all she's been through, it's right back into 'The Clink'? While scrawling out her own adorable little version of Mein Kampf, she will most certainly waste away like a petite flower denied sunshine and water! When I heard her pleading to her mother 'It's not right!', my heart just broke.
Speaking of Paris' mom, I can only imagine how awful this must be to endure. If it will at all ease her suffering, I'm publicly offering myself up for adoption to her for the duration. Nothing weird -I'm not wearing Paris' clothes or anything-but if Paris' mom needs the companionship provided by your offspring laying siege upon your refrigerator and always trying to borrow money, it seems the least I can do for a couple of weeks.
And think about it for a second: Paris will come out with an older brother to look up to!
We're with you, Paris' mom!
OxyCaine
Predator Press
[Mr Insanity]
"For the last time," says Ethan. "Were not moving the entire operation to Los Angeles. Have you any idea how expensive this would all be in California?"
"You are suffering from hopelessly antiquated thinking in this regard," says LOBO.
"Excuse me? Just yesterday, you were calling for open revolt!"
"I've changed my mind. If being too pretty, too famous, too rich, or too whiney counts as a legal defense, I'm all for it. Hell, I've got a whine that'll rip through your cerebral cortex like a pickaxe. Want to hear it?"
"Not particularly."
"Ethan, just think of all the money we would save in lawyer fees when we load up our cars with drugs and crash them repeatedly under the influence and without a license. That's the kind of selective enforcement that we need."
"But none of us do drugs!"
"Maybe that's a problem too," LOBO retorts. "Everyone who's anyone is doing drugs now. America has embraced it. It's very 'Chique'. We need to 'get with the times' so to speak."
"So you think we'll all be better off if we start doing cocaine."
"Cocaine," guffaws LOBO. "Cocaine is so passé only criminals use it anymore. I'm talking OxyContin, Ritalin, and Viagra."
"I can't believe you're s-"
"Wait!" LOBO interrupts. "What if we create 'Oxy-Caine'? Now that's a party."
"Lobo," says Ethan. "You've sunken to an all-new low. Get the hell out of my office."
"I'm just saying-"
"Out!"
LOBO, rolling his eyes, closed the office door quietly behind him as he left.
"Idiot," breathed Ethan aloud into his empty office. Then he pressed the button on his intercom.
"Phoebe?"
"Yes, Ethan," she replied.
"Is lobo gone?"
"Yes Ethan."
"Get me someone from Phizer Research and Development on the phone."
[Mr Insanity]
"For the last time," says Ethan. "Were not moving the entire operation to Los Angeles. Have you any idea how expensive this would all be in California?"
"You are suffering from hopelessly antiquated thinking in this regard," says LOBO.
"Excuse me? Just yesterday, you were calling for open revolt!"
"I've changed my mind. If being too pretty, too famous, too rich, or too whiney counts as a legal defense, I'm all for it. Hell, I've got a whine that'll rip through your cerebral cortex like a pickaxe. Want to hear it?"
"Not particularly."
"Ethan, just think of all the money we would save in lawyer fees when we load up our cars with drugs and crash them repeatedly under the influence and without a license. That's the kind of selective enforcement that we need."
"But none of us do drugs!"
"Maybe that's a problem too," LOBO retorts. "Everyone who's anyone is doing drugs now. America has embraced it. It's very 'Chique'. We need to 'get with the times' so to speak."
"So you think we'll all be better off if we start doing cocaine."
"Cocaine," guffaws LOBO. "Cocaine is so passé only criminals use it anymore. I'm talking OxyContin, Ritalin, and Viagra."
"I can't believe you're s-"
"Wait!" LOBO interrupts. "What if we create 'Oxy-Caine'? Now that's a party."
"Lobo," says Ethan. "You've sunken to an all-new low. Get the hell out of my office."
"I'm just saying-"
"Out!"
LOBO, rolling his eyes, closed the office door quietly behind him as he left.
"Idiot," breathed Ethan aloud into his empty office. Then he pressed the button on his intercom.
"Phoebe?"
"Yes, Ethan," she replied.
"Is lobo gone?"
"Yes Ethan."
"Get me someone from Phizer Research and Development on the phone."
Thursday
No, You WON'T "Be Back"
Predator Press
Before ousting every last member of autocrat
swill from the empire we built, blow 'em a kiss:
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814
Phone: 916-445-2841
Fax: 916-445-4633
To send an Email please visit:
http://www.govmail.ca.gov
ALSO
Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department Contact List
Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department
"Compliments, Complaints": (323) 526-5541
swill from the empire we built, blow 'em a kiss:
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814
Phone: 916-445-2841
Fax: 916-445-4633
To send an Email please visit:
http://www.govmail.ca.gov
ALSO
Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department Contact List
Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department
"Compliments, Complaints": (323) 526-5541
Gloves Off: It's ON
Predator Press
[LOBO]
So Paris is finally home after paying her debt to society with a lengthy stay in prison.
50 hours. Less than 5% of her original sentence.
People get stabbed in jail and have to stay. People get terminal cancer in jail and have to stay. Paris gets traumatized by, what, seeing a scary person in the window and is sent home? Is that how jail works? You raise your hand and say 'I don't like this' while crying? If so, get ready for a shitload of appeals!
That tears it. I'm tired of fat, bloated government pigs sending our kids -not theirs- to be murdered and maimed overseas. I'm tired of building their fortunes with my labor. And now that I can plainly see the provided hypocritical, inept and corrupt sack-of-shit Monarchist crap that passes for a 'Legal System' for what it is, I want to burn the whole fucking thing to the ground and start all over.
Minus the "Aristocracy".
Vive L'Anarchie.
[LOBO]
So Paris is finally home after paying her debt to society with a lengthy stay in prison.
50 hours. Less than 5% of her original sentence.
People get stabbed in jail and have to stay. People get terminal cancer in jail and have to stay. Paris gets traumatized by, what, seeing a scary person in the window and is sent home? Is that how jail works? You raise your hand and say 'I don't like this' while crying? If so, get ready for a shitload of appeals!
That tears it. I'm tired of fat, bloated government pigs sending our kids -not theirs- to be murdered and maimed overseas. I'm tired of building their fortunes with my labor. And now that I can plainly see the provided hypocritical, inept and corrupt sack-of-shit Monarchist crap that passes for a 'Legal System' for what it is, I want to burn the whole fucking thing to the ground and start all over.
Minus the "Aristocracy".
Vive L'Anarchie.
Wednesday
Americana
Predator Press
[LOBO]
Living in America, a funny blog just kinda writes itself.
This is the only country in the world that would send troops to die in a field for your Freedom of Speech, and fine you were anyone to see a woman's breast in the process.
We buy great big fantastic off-road post-apocalyptic vehicles during a gas crisis, just wide enough to stop all the lanes of traffic while creeping over a tiny pothole.
And shamefully guilty of having brutally dragged people over here to do all the work hundreds of years ago, we simultaneously draw up legislation to stop millions of other people stubbornly trying to bust in and 'take away our jobs' --all the while 'outsourcing' work to other countries.
All I need now are a bunch of people in Alabama tellin' Arabs and Jews what Christ was like, and I'm all set.
But that could never happen.
[LOBO]
Living in America, a funny blog just kinda writes itself.
This is the only country in the world that would send troops to die in a field for your Freedom of Speech, and fine you were anyone to see a woman's breast in the process.
We buy great big fantastic off-road post-apocalyptic vehicles during a gas crisis, just wide enough to stop all the lanes of traffic while creeping over a tiny pothole.
And shamefully guilty of having brutally dragged people over here to do all the work hundreds of years ago, we simultaneously draw up legislation to stop millions of other people stubbornly trying to bust in and 'take away our jobs' --all the while 'outsourcing' work to other countries.
All I need now are a bunch of people in Alabama tellin' Arabs and Jews what Christ was like, and I'm all set.
But that could never happen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
-
LOBO - Predator Press "I can't believe the woman giving the MRI was flirting with you right in front of me ," Wendy growled.... -
Predator Press [LOBO] Yes it's totally true. There is now, in fact, a $14.95 Bionic Ear . And I'm not even going to g...
