Predator Press
[LOBO]
This morning I flipped a cardboard box into the "Recycling" dumpster.
And in the brief span of time I saw triangular sun-illuminated dumpster contents, I saw like nine million twitching bees, all vertically lined up against the dumpster lining. And then the lid, as designed, shut by virtue of gravity.
"What the fuck?" I thought. "Jesus, that just looked like nine million twitching bees, all vertically lined up against the dumpster lining." Popping the dumpster back open, I thought "What the hell did I really see?"
It was at that exact moment that nine million pissed off bees attacked me.
But as you longtime Predator Press readers know, I am an honorary white-belt Master of the long-lost martial art form of Peking Duck: four or five bees stung my shirt, but I deftly locked myself in the trunk of my '74 Toyota Camry without a single sting to my actual flesh.
Still, I think all my neighbors are dead by now.
2 comments:
Ironically or not, we got bees that wanted to take up residence in the eave of the house. May have noticed it (my daughter's pretty observant), but a bird swooped through her and the bees went freakin' nuts.
As I make no claims to manliness, or whatever trait is required to address bees head on, I called bee-type removers and had them deal with it.
I don't know how different bees are from wasps, but you can hit a wasp nest directly with spray. Their wings absorb the oil -if they don't die from the poison directly, they are helpless to predators.
Jehovah's Witnesses are a little tougher to hide, so I just scare them off by answering the door naked.
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